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Cake day: June 21st, 2023

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  • aw man, I procrastinated big time this morning checking things about super and rescheduling appointments and shit. Now it’s quarter to 9, and I have a stinking headache, and the results section that I really thought was gonna be easy, has been SO HARD because I fucking hate stats and don’t understand any of it and I’ve been having a long back and forth with chatgpt to try and understand how to describe differences and shit and my brain HURTS. This is the part about academic research I loathe the most. I hate stats so much. Gaaaaaaah! Even when I think I understand I DON’T!

    Hours and hours just to output three measly, but crucial, paragraphs for a total of 476 words… the discussion is gonna have to be a lot more streamlined, I’ve not even started on writing out full sentences 😭 However, at least I now have a much better structure with which to concisely discuss the various findings (and merge things together in a sensible way), and also much more academically sound points (not just the equivalent of “yeah I reckon”, but “look at the shape and statistical significance of shit”).

    Plus, I did a much-overdue data cleanup that I thought I’d give up on but really was better to do and not cleverly hide, so at least now I can confidently say my methods section is 99% (missing a couple references I can find at the last minute), and my results is 100%. Intro still stuck at 75% from Saturday…

    Imma need some real powerful concentration juice tomorrow to (a) not procrastinate and (b) write that discussion section like I’m on fire before losing a lot of time in throwing in references and then reading up on that stupid paper so I can finish the 25% left of the intro. For now, I think I’m going to call it quits and go home before this headache gets any worse…







  • Well, after feeling insanely sleepy for a good few hours there, at some point something kicked in and I have powered through to 10pm and my methods section is pretty much 95% complete!!!

    The intro is about 75% after yesterday’s efforts - held back by the very late-stage discovery of a key paper that throws a whole bunch of things out and I have to incorporate into the intro and discussion. So I’m going to have to prioritise reading that, but…

    …my discussion section is a total shambles.

    shambles rambles

    I really have neglected it completely and it’s just a bunch of half-finished sentences and disorganised dot points. Really, this is the important bit of the paper so I shouldn’t be rushing it, but at this point I’m going to have to summarise a lot of it as:

    • Wow, the results of A, B and C were really obvious! just like X and Y said!
    • But these things weren’t so great, possibly because of the phenomenon described in Z
    • Still you should totally use C because A and B alone aren’t enough
    • Also here is a scenario model which proves my point
    • But also it has 35930940249 assumptions lol
    • Future research could address all of that, but anyway, at least this thing gets the ball rolling
    • kthxbai

    I think my game plan for tomorrow is to seriously flesh out the discussion section, references be damned, and get the main points/flow of discussion correct. Because I simply won’t have anything even remotely submittable without that. THEN I can get into that stupid paper and figure out how much I need to wedge in and try and finish that remaining 25% of the intro…

    Sigh. I was hoping I’d be done by end of Monday but I’ll have to accept spending my birthday still working on this stupid thing. If I can finish by the end of Tuesday at least then I can luxuriate!


  • The last time I lived in a house that was large enough - my last sharehouse - there was no kitchen table, but there was a small dining room (with dining table) and a lounge room (couches and fire). I usually ate on the dining table unless I felt like staring into the fire of a cold evening. Occasionally, I would eat in my room if I was working hard on uni/work.

    As a kid I used to hate eating at a table. I’d always eat in front of the computer or TV




  • Alright, after some drama and use of a broomstick (not by me…) sox was bundled into her carrier and all her bits and pieces taken away. Made sure to eat something, finished up all the other house chores, stopped for an existential panic moment, then went to the laundromat and dried a huge load, and now I’m parked at the office willing myself to attack the method section (it needs to be dramatically shorter and replaced with some diagrams that I have on hand). I picked the easiest bit to do today because I knew the morning was a writeoff.

    Wish me energy and concentration. I’ve had my meds, a coffee, and now a tea with a biscuit, and I still feel like burying myself in bed. I’ll try and get out of here before 9pm at least and have a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s new session of writing back at the uni library. I am at least relieved in the back of my head that I’ve now got clean clothes and a clean house again




  • I got home incredibly late after a huge hyper focus session rewriting out my entire intro (this time with full citations) - got home past 1am and hugely apologetic to dear sox who was clearly a bit out of sorts having dislodged and chewed up a corner of a pizza box (there was plenty of dry food left for her to free feed on).

    Things have been so hectic I have two weeks of laundry built up and all sorts of crap lying around. So I’ve spent this morning getting that done, cleaning the kitchen, doing an overdue vacuum, tidying the place up before Sox’s human comes at 11. Now just waiting for the second round of laundry and… lo and behold I have been blessed with one last shnuggle.

    At least I get to enjoy this last bit of quality time 😭 🙏🏽 🖤🤍🖤

    E: also looks like the US has finally pulled the pin. Yaaaay… not…



  • It depends a lot on her human who is… Kind of flaky tbh. He’s got a good heart but his life is in a bit of a shambles of his own creation atm. At a crossroads where I think he’s very tempted to sell up what he has and float around; sox is the only real commitment he has tying him to one place…

    If it came to it, I’d seriously consider adopting her but not for quite a while yet as I intend to end my lease and put my stuff in storage for a bit while I figure myself out before I come back and have more of a plan for how to secure my own home (if it’s at all possible).


  • Since you demanded so nicely, here’s a couple of blurry mediocre shots from last night when I got home late and was crouched on my knees on the couch, which was an invitation for sox to jump onto my back and park herself there for a minute

    a world-first for this feline

    she loves everyone:

    I have extricated myself from the warm cocoon of bed and am staring blankly at a screen but I promise to get some more pics tonight.