We’re legally banning chemtrails up in hurrr

Like Voyager II leaving the solar system, humans passed Idiocracy and kept going. At current velocity, is it possible this is a papyrus tabloid headline from 25 years in the future?

It’s 2025; if you’re gonna make a comment like that, descend from thy perch and guide us down the beaten-off path. Do I go to Samsung and ask for a flip phone? I know they have one they would l🤑ve to sell me. Are you also someone who thinks I should avoid 5G? Do you have a dumb phone make/model you recommend? Is disconnecting from society the only way? Do you only talk via pigeon or smoke during solstice or blót?