I was watching a video about a painting and the commentary mentioned how it looks at you and most people in the comments mentioned the same thing but to me, it was like she was looking behind me (this is going somewhere) commonly I don’t make much eye contact so to get around this I look at the space between the eyes of whoever I’m talking to with occasional looking at the eyes quickly, is this noticeable on their end? Because when I looked at the painting in the eyes, she was looking at me as well, and it felt like a massive difference.

The painting in question for anyone interested.

  • dmention7@midwest.social
    15·
    6 days ago

    There are kind of two different questions here.

    First of all yes, humans are pretty good at telling whether someone is looking them directly in the eyes or not. So if you were to ask someone directly whether you are looking in their eyes or some other part of the face, they would probably be right most of the time.

    The second part is whether they would notice it consciously without bring asked. That’s a little trickier. I suspect if you were staring directly at some other part of their face, people might get self conscious (do I have a zit? Is my nose that huge?) But looking at a spot between their eyes, or shiftng your gaze periodically would probably fly under the radar.

    • blackbrook@mander.xyz
      5·
      6 days ago

      I become aware of which eye I am looking at when talking to someone who has eyes that are misaligned. Like, maybe they have one glass eye or one eye that has some problem… I become self conscious that I might be looking at the wrong eye and worried they might be offended.

      But I’m pretty sure I’m never aware of which one my eyes another person is looking at, or when their gaze switches. So I really doubt I could tell if someone were looking right between my eyes. Maybe if they were really close.

  • Admetus@sopuli.xyz
    9·
    6 days ago

    To me, the lady is not really looking at anything, but yes, her eyes are directed behind my shoulder.

    The eye contact ‘language’ is complicated. Sometimes I’m facing someone directly. I’m probably looking towards their eyes 90% of the time with an occasional look in another direction as I process the conversation. Other times I’m faced away in a posture that shows I’m listening (I’m hard of hearing so sometimes I need to have an ear facing towards them); then I’ll be looking towards their eyes 20%-ish of the time.

    I think it depends on the context. In a formal setting facing each other, looking away could be misinterpreted, and eye contact is a skill to be cultivated. Call it ‘cultivating charisma’. I’m a teacher and had to develop quite a lot of experience in it, and popularity tends to scale with its effectiveness.