I cook at home because of restaurant prices and tip culture. Driving everywhere sucks. Everything feels miles away so good luck walking.
I cook at home because of restaurant prices and tip culture. Driving everywhere sucks. Everything feels miles away so good luck walking.
Yep. I’m exhausted after work, but when I spend some time after work biking I find I’m less exhausted after work once I’ve gotten used to it. Then add social events and yeah, I might need a day of rest regularly, but I also need to get out and do stuff regularly.
Also, learning to flirt is hard and vital. You will make an ass of yourself. Eventually though you get good at it. I’m an awkward dweeb with crap social skills, and yet after learning to flirt and years practicing I’ve managed to find myself making out with strangers on nights out every once in a while. The vital addendum is learning to chat with strangers and have a good time without it going further. Once again, awkward weirdo, but I’ve had so many lovely evenings out chatting with people I may or may not see again. It’s fun and results in a good reputation.
The best advice I’ve gotten and given about flirting, is to not think about flirting, don’t think about the relationship game, don’t think about outcomes or consequences, instead focus on being just a little more bold than you’re normally comfortable with.
Don’t even try it if you’re not already getting more comfortable chatting and hanging out with people. Flirting is just friendliness with confidence. You have to walk before you can run. It also helps to have at least one person you trust enough to tell you where you’re being weird or how you’re coming off to new people.
I think starting flirting not expecting anything but practice is also valuable. I mostly flirt catch and release these days, and I think it’s best to understand that the goal is to learn to have fun with it. Even when married you should be flirtatious with your spouse, so learn to love it.
100% this, you shouldn’t even have expectations, the term “flirting” shouldn’t be in your mental language, you should approach socializing in a different way instead of labeling interactions.
“That person is nice, fun and attractive, I want to say something that will make them feel good, because they deserve it” is a far better approach than “What magic flirt-words can I say that will make them horny for me.”
(People can tell the difference too.)
Idk I find intentionality valuable in flirting, it’s just that my intent is to flirt and if it goes from there well then that’s fun. A sly smile with the compliment, then paying attention to see the tone of her response… it’s a game and it’s in some ways unique compared to telling a stranger I like their outfit (which I also do non flirtatiously).
“What can I say to make them like me” is the far more juvenile framing. It’s one I’ve seen especially beginners fall into. Instead framing flirtation as a (metaphorical) playful whisper of interest. It should be like a scent you wear: light, discretionarily used, inviting, and yourself. You’re not casting a spell to make them like you, you’re simply inviting them to come and see what could happen if they’re interested.
But all that is more the intermediate level. The only real secret is that people like spending time with people with whom they enjoy the time they spend with.
This is really key. It’s fun to spend an evening getting to know someone! And if that’s your only goal for a date - you’re probably going to have more of a good time than not.