Would you ever straight up say to your son, ‘You are a disappointment’?

    • angrystego@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      It’s normal to express emotions and it’s good to learn to first process them properly and then express them in a healthy way that is not harmful for others.

      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        Yeah, no.

        This ‘do no harm’ shit is nothing more than toxic positivity.

        Pain is part of life. Learn to deal with it and stop trying to avoid it pathologically. You should feel bad for disappointing people. Nobody is harming you by telling you that you fucked up, the only thing that gets hurt is your ego and your insistence nothing you do is wrong because you do it.

        • angrystego@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          There can be both toxic positivity and toxic negativity. It’s good to be aware you can do damage with words. It greatly depends on the situation and words and nonverbal language used. I also feel like saying you’re disappointed by the son’s concrete behaviour is ok, while saying he’s a disappointment (in his whole) is a heavy caliber - maybe the meaning varies regionally or something?

    • Ikon@sh.itjust.works
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      8 days ago

      I agree thats its normal to express your emotions, but there is a difference between telling someone that they have disappointed you and telling someone that they are a disappointment.

      Calling someone a disappointment implies that it is something intrinsic about the person, while saying that someone has disappointed you shows that it is something that they have done and isn’t an overarching accusation.