Ex-cult member here.

The only thing that snaps someone out of that spiral is an internal realization. There’s nothing we as outsiders can really do directly. Engaging with their version of reality (Christian evangelicals specifically) feeds into the prosecution complex and perpetual victimhood that validates their position. It’s a self-defeating tactic to confront them directly.

Focus on positive, normal, consistent interactions. Share your regular, everyday triumphs. If your lifestyle comes up in conversation, express being satisfied with it. Decline going to church with them. Don’t debate their stances on doctrine if you share a root faith. Deflect and redirect. When the opportunity arises, maybe ask a question that invites some introspection about the subtle (but structurally loadbearing) flaws in their worldview. But don’t probe too much. Again, bear in mind, they’re trained to take every perceived attack as a trigger to rehearse their dogma. Be subtle.

And above all, unless they are actively abusing you, don’t abandon them. That’ll seal them in and you’ll never get them back. Continue your hobbies and appointments, and keep a schedule (movie night, for example.) Eventually, they might feel vulnerable enough to express their insecurities about inconsistencies in their worldview. Be gentle with them, as this is a remarkably scary thing for them to even voice out loud.

If they love you–and I mean really love you–no preacher with an ego to preen will ever take them from you.

Ex charismatic case here:

As others have pointed out=> they have to figure it out, you can only help and wait it out.

They preach it themselves, be patient, show your life and wait. Same goes the other way.

The difference is that they are in a trap so to speak. They can’t back out because that triggers the fear of hell (it’s a one way street).

If they make it out it’ll probably be because their god has let them down for the millionth time on important issues. Be there for them in those moments and show them that life goes on outside of their bubble. And that life is good there. They’re in for a dark ride.

If it comes down to debating the matter: be careful. A good gotcha can feel like a small victory but it can also cut you out of their life. Or only embolden them to look up more fringe and whacky theories.

From my experience it’s probably more effective to dismiss such debates. Show them you care about them as a person and not their religion.

I dearly dearly wish you all the strength and love you can use. I hope they make it out.

Convert to Islam

Unfortunately, as a child, you can’t do anything else than getting the fuck out of there as soon as possible. If you have lil’ bros and sis’, you have to take them with you, else they’ll destroy their minds as well.

Save yourselves.

They’ve always been religious but like in the sane way.

You don’t. If their mind is already primed to fall for this nonsense, there isn’t much you can do to help them.

give arguments for why you believe Jesus was a homosexual

sounds like they are projecting, thier divorce has to be against thier religion, taboo pretty hypocritical.

Leave as soon as possible.

Spirituality is healthy when it isn’t exclusionary. Unfortunately it too often manifests as ancient dos and don’ts, haves and have nots.

Dont quote scripture at them. Approaching an emotional challenge with a logical solution is never well received. The other side just assumes you don’t understand what they’re going through. This isn’t a debate for one side to win. This is a (midlife) crisis of meaning and one’s sense of morality or righteousness. Perhaps they feel the divorce was not in line with their religious beliefs and looking out for faults in others is how they’re trying to find peace.

They’re probably looking for some form of healing from a broken relationship they’ve both heavily invested in, and finding fault in others gives them a momentary vindication, the ability to say “see, I’m not that bad”.

It what context are they lecturing? Is it due to people they’re directly interacting with or social media?

Personally, I think your parents should be allowed to make their own decision about what religion and/or spirituality they want to adopt.

The reason they’re gravitating toward the religion is likely because the divorce has left them with an emotional hole. They’re finding love and compassion in the message of the religion, and probably some more compassion and companionship from fellow members of the religion.

While the message from the leaders may well be a ruse to hook people and get their money, the perceived benefits and actual fellowship are going to be hard for you to compete with. Especially so if you’re approaching it from the “all of you are batshit crazy” angle.

I think if you really want to help your parent, the best option would be to find a way to provide them even more love, compassion, and companionship than the church gives them. Then they might consider listening to your opinions on organized religion at some point later down the line after they’ve had time to heal from the emotional trauma that comes with divorce. This may also be a good strategy to help yourself if you’re feeling affected by the change too.

Hmm. Is it likely that a person becomes religious after they divorce?

I don’t believe in any of this shit - but your mom does, so that’s how we have to approach the problem. If religion got her to this point, religion can dig her back out of it.

"Mom, I want to talk about God. Like, a serious talk about serious stuff. I’m concerned that you are trying shoulder a HUGE emotional and spiritual burden right now, all by yourself. It’s too big a load. You need to put some of it down.

All this sin around us? All this evil? It’s what God wanted, right? God created all of humanity and, through Satan, put sin in their hearts.

But after thousands of years, God saw that humanity needed a broader message, a message that could be understood by all people of the world, not just the Israelites. So he sent his son with an update. And Jesus tells us to take care of those things within our power and leave the rest to God.

Mom, for your own sake, please think on this. Pray on it. Talk to your friends at church about it. God doesn’t want you taking the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s too much to bear."

Maybe grab a Chrisian bible and show her the following, she’d probably love it if you did a little bible study with her:

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV): “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.

Psalm 55:22 (NIV): “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken”.

Psalm 81:6 (NLT): “I will take the load from your shoulders; I will free your hands from their heavy tasks”.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV): “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’”.

Isaiah 10:27 (KJV): “…the burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and thy yoke from off thy neck…”.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV): Encourages prayer over worry, promising that God’s peace will guard hearts and minds.

Judge not, before you judge yourself.

Most people join cults for community and structure and answers. There’s resources like https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult and https://www.peopleleavecults.com/post/help-cult-involved but I think the general idea is stay calm don’t crash out when talking about it, help them notice the manipulation techniques being used that are common to cults, asking questions that help undermine indoctrination and inspire more skepticism, and provide alternatives for the reasons they are wanting to join or stay in a cult without the manipulation and lies a cult requires to exist.