Tom Segura joke that I’ll butcher real quick:

A stranger walks up to me

“Hey know any good restaurants?”

Yeah there’s this really good dim sum place over there

“Oh, I hate the Asian world”

Oh, I didn’t know that about you

I mean your boobs are huge. I mean uh I wanna squeeze em. Uh uh 😗😙😗😙 momma

My god, who did this to you?

“A mad man your honor! A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful ropes!”

What did he look like?

“Uh…about 6’2”, 210lbs, big face, kinda orange"

Fuck

What a revelation