My alt for DessertStorms@kbin.social

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  • 43 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: June 27th, 2024

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  • I really miss kbin… 😔(no hard feelings, I genuinely wish Ernest the best and hope he makes a comeback)

    I actually tried migrating my account from there before the major issues, as a backup, but realised it didn’t back up my blocked lists, which are much harder for me to recreate than my subscribed list and settings are, so decided to wait and see if anyone improved the migration tools.

    Then it became too late, and I had to start from scratch, and am now regretting the instance I chose, and have not yet had the brain space to check out the other kbin/mbin instances and find a new one I like. Until then I’m reluctant to participate.

    If anything, the last couple of months, with kbin dying and realising how uncomfortable I am on an instance run by people who have expectations from their users I fundamentally disagree with, have made me want to start my own private kbin/mbin instance for myself so that I don’t end up in either situation again, but I don’t know that it’s something I can take on, having no programming knowledge or any experience with anything like that.

    So yes, I agree with you, for more than the reasons you’ve provided, and I hope we, as a general community use these developments to learn and improve.





  • Depression and mental illness leads some to want to go with a bang

    No, they really fucking don’t, privilege and the sense of entitlement it gives do.

    Like seriously, beyond the bullshit that is scapegoating mental illness because it’s easier than facing reality, that’s literally not how depression works, nor “mental illness” in general, especially when you consider that mentally ill people are significantly more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrate it.

    Stop perpetuating this lazy counterproductive bullshit.











  • A lot of replies here ignoring the obvious - patriarchy, religion, and capitalism.

    I’ll be honest, if you don’t have an understanding of how deeply these (along with white supremacy, cis heteronormativity, ablesim, classism) impact not only society at large, but our individual choices (or lack thereof), and it sounds like you don’t (E: among other reasons - the existence of feminism doesn’t negate the impacts of the aforementioned systems, if anything, it exists because those systems are still completely pervasive and need fighting against), I can’t really help at this point, there’s just too much to unpack and it’s not work I’m interested in doing for you.

    As for your ulterior motives - the first is easy to resolve by opening a search engine and looking it up, the second absolutely makes you sound like a creep, and also provides a perfect demonstration of the kind of external pressure we face that more often than not compels us to cover up - we feel you “appreciating” our “pups” (aka your “male gaze” or simply you objectifying us. And no, trying to pull an “all genders sexualise” doesn’t change the fact that cis men are who predominantly harm women and others afab). And it’s fucking gross.

    Maybe you should read my first reply again, this time try and actually listen to the experience of a person explaining to you the pressures they and others like them face from society that you never have, instead of dismissing it because it makes you uncomfortable to confront, and then invest some of your own time actually researching the topic, not of why people wear bras, but of how fundamentally social constructs impact society and all the individuals in it, and maybe you’ll start to get an idea of what the actual answer to your question is.

    But I have a feeling you’re not interested in doing any of that, so I’ll just leave you with this - boobs don’t exist for you.


  • A lot of replies here ignoring the obvious - patriarchy, religion, and capitalism.

    There are plenty of examples of societies past and present, for the vast majority of the time humans existed probably, where breasts are free to exist as they are. The people those breasts are attached to do all manner of work and activities without hinderance, or chafed nipples. Just like those with flat chests do.

    The reason that in (especially our western) modern world we are expected to wear bras has to do with puritanism, shame, control, and profiteering from all of the above.

    Comfort is categorically not a priority of the billion dollar bra industry, the trillion dollar advertising industry, nor those who demand we wear them to be “respectable”, lest we “excite” their, or their son’s, urges or “distract” them from their important manly duties (and if we don’t, and they attack us, it’d be our fault for not being “modest” enough and “asking for it”).

    When we have all been socialised with these demands and expectations for centuries, they become so deeply ingrained, it’s really hard to separate from our own free will, and yet ask any group of people who wear bras what the best part of the day is, and they’ll tell you it’s taking it off.

    And to be clear - this isn’t a judgment of anyone who wears a bra, I wear an underwire once in a blue moon which I hate, but am usually in a sports bra because I feel more comfortable with everything held in place (and also have nosy neighbours I’m not that friendly with), it’s about questioning why I feel more comfortable that way, and how much of that is natural vs manufactured by a society that demands I keep everything held in place, hidden (unless they’re “required” to sell something or entertain the mens), and forever impossibly youthful and perky.

    Anyway, I’m stoned too and I tend to ramble, so I think I 'll leave it at that for now lol