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I’m not a cis man, but every man I’ve dated has had “friends”, but not people they can really talk to. Like, one guy I dated had a really big social circle and they regularly had gaming events. But he didn’t text or talk to anyone outside of planning and going to those events. Others had maybe one friend that they hung out with outside of work.

It is sad. And it was jarring when I was young, because I had lots of friends I could turn to on a bad day or for something more serious. It makes me so angry with “the patriarchy”, because it isn’t just keeping women down, it’s also hurting and sometimes killing men.

I had a cat die a very painful and sad death right in the veterinarian’s parking lot. I was completely devastated, but my poor boyfriend kept trying to hold back his tears because he “needed to be strong” for me. Bitch no, cry with me, that was super heavy. I’m going to carry that death with me until I die, and not just because my cat didn’t deserve that. It’s not fair for men to have this expectation that they need to hold back expressing emotion so they appear strong. (that particular ex also has a fear of dying, so he really needed to and should have felt free to express himself at that time)

The sheer number of men who suddenly have no support in their life because their relationship has ended, that soon struggle with suicidal thoughts should really point to the first thing you said. Men and women are socialized differently as children and this is one of the most common results when we reach adulthood. It will take an enormous shift in society and ingrained values to fix that

That second point, yeah, women don’t need to get married to survive now. My grandmother couldn’t have her own bank account when she was a young adult, and banks would have laughed her out of town if she wanted a mortgage. My parents got married young because that was still kind of expected, especially in rural America. I haven’t dated in years, because it’s frustrating, and I have been able to, and lucky enough, to buy a home on my own finances. That’s not high standards, it’s just that I didn’t need to get hitched to have financial stability

I met two people with my dead name and a third who used the nickname I used to (think Christina/Tina) all in the same job. I thought it would be weird, but I realized that I never identified with those names, I just used them because it was expected.

I imagine it’s different for other people, but that’s how it has been for me

There are programs for people with felonies to find jobs, typically found under “re-entry” or “second chance”. They’re often sucky, poorly paid jobs though.

I’m not a big fan, but damn that video goes hard for this kind of music.

…

Okay, I admit I’ve never watched a Florence and the Machine video before

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My 16yo cat is definitely a prim and proper old lady. Oddly, I call the 4yo Maine Coon “little man” even though he’s easily 4x the old lady’s size

I’m probably forever going to call my dog “bestest girl”, but she’s starting to get a grey muzzle too

Honestly, I may have gotten lucky because I didn’t need to do much rust removal. Took them outside and hosed them down, then got to work removing the burnt in bits and evening out the seasoning. Took me about two afternoons per pan. One of the pans is definitely an antique, so I haven’t used it because it might have lead in it

When I bought my house I discovered a treasure trove of old cast iron pans in the (very modern) oven. They all looked like this and smelled like rancid oil. It was not fun to deal with lol

I struggled with night terrors from PTSD for a long time. Developed a binge drinking habit to try and cope, because I didn’t want to sleep anymore and had to knock myself out.

Eventually I was able to get help. Two years with the right therapist (many more trying to find her) and I actually only get night terrors once a month or so now. That might sound like a lot, but weeks of refreshing sleep between episodes makes life so much easier to live. Things have taken a slight dive since the start of the year, but I know once politics and security are stable again I’ll be okay. Being able to rephrase my brain from “torturing” me to “coping any way it can” has helped, but I think the journey to dealing with nightmares is different for everyone

I’ve been patiently waiting for moths pondering orbs

It does feel like there’s a new wave of change, I have no idea if it’s due to new reddit refugees or general discontent. But yes, there does seem to be a lot more down voting, more quarrelsome comments, less cohesion within some communities.

There’s also been a few posts sprinkled across instances discussing some accounts that do nothing but down vote. No comments, no posts, just down votes

To be fair, I am also a millennial, but most of my friends were surprised when I told them about that correction I received from the younger generation. I guess that says more about my friends than millennials overall lol

I’ve heard from Gen Z that ending a text response with a period is passive aggressive. So “cool” may have seemed glib on its own, but the punctuation might be giving an additional, if unintentional, tone

I have the same cat tent, and both of my cats prefer sleeping anywhere else lol

Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean to imply that getting a job with a disability is easy or that employers actually follow laws. I was more trying to point out that a personality disorder is a disability, because most people won’t see it that way

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