Small scale permaculture nursery in Maine, education enthusiast, and usually verbose.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • We’re almost to our daughter’s 9th month of life. We’re both overtired and feeling overworked, with precious little of the time we used to spend on hobbies or couple-time. That said, while there’s been a shift towards an expectation culture in the house (vs an ask culture) we haven’t had the sort of challenges listed in that first paragraph.

    Some things probably working for us:

    • We’ve been together for over a decade and in our home for 9 years

    • Our communication style is productive even during arguments (“I feel” statements are much more positive than “you” statements)

    • We’re majority wfh so we have the capacity to buffer each others’ needs as parents throughout the day, rather than leaving everything to one person or having additional financial stresses with childcare

    Some things definitely working for us:

    • Calling each other out for awesome parenting, because very few others will and it’s amazing to feel that validation

    • Proactively taking something off of each other’s plates, whether that’s cleaning or laundry, dishes or bottles, whatever task is getting done is one that doesn’t have to be done later

    • Knowing about spoon theory and being sensitive to how much bandwidth each other has left. It’s way harder to recharge from past depleted, so being flexible and recognizing when I or my partner are reaching that point and stepping in or voicing a need for support goes a long way for both of us

    How do you find the mental fortitude to ignore the stupid bs your partner does or says?

    I mean, we’re both sleep deprived so I’m sure there’s stupid coming out of my mouth too. I think it’s much healthier to laugh or work to improve the condition causing stress than it is to feed a negative cycle. If either of us are escalating we missed a chance to bolster each other.

    How would you describe love to your partner a year after having a baby?

    Gratitude. I feel incredibly fortunate to have a partner who puts in the effort and has put in the effort to help build the communication style that’s worked so well for us.

    Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?

    It really helps to have a relationship built on respect, and knowing enough about yourselves to approach challenges constructively. Build a good foundation with each other, learn to communicate positively, and do your best.










  • Iirc the leaked internal docs and reporting showed that nvidia was downloading 81 years worth of video per day. If the pattern holds, and we “throw” the books at them, it probably looks a lot like one of those building-sized front end loaders dropping the library of Alexandria on those executives.

    As an alternative, I would be fine if nvidia were no longer allowed to hold copyright or trademarks since the company believes that those don’t matter, required to share all internal documents (including any and all planning), and required to open source all their code until the company implodes










  • bee heart emoji there are a handful of tracks on youtube, and someone on soundcloud has a collection as well if I were to pay the subscription to play them offline but as Tomas Kalnoky has said “it’s old music and kids have a right to know”. I’m hoping someone might be able to share and prevent me from having to do some wacky things to get it all locally, but I see and appreciate you