Tis a shame they’ll blame Iran rather than the instigators of the attacks

Again, are you respecting someone’s identity? I don’t care what you think you’re doing; if you aren’t recognizing a person as the person they are, then the conclusion is that you’re mistreating someone. The world isn’t a place where your self perceptions overwrite the person you actually are.

There are plenty of respectful debates about trans issues, and tolerance of people genuinely not understanding queer topics. What cannot be debated respectfully is whatever or not to respect a person"s identity. No amount of polite language can make such a conversation respectful, as you’re refusing to do the bare minimum required to speak to that person as an equal.

Creating a tolerant space requires not tolerating intolerance. This is not an authoritarian insight, but one centered on maximizing the freedom of everyone. If you demand a space where you can debate a basic fact about myself, then that is not a space in which I am free.