Make it a toggle switch under a cool red cover and I’m in
Hiphopopotamus knows what’s up
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in
Nope.
You can make a very nice (and strong) Dalgona with Cafe Bustelo instant coffee
You’re more likely to solve the problem by yelling into a pillow
You mean the Casper Original Pillow I’m buying with Klarna for 4 easy payments of $39.95 at 29.99% interest?
I hear they’re partnering with Amazon on a new version that has a tiny Alexa speaker in it that will whisper ads in your ear while you’re sleeping unless you pay them $15 to turn it off. It’s called the Casper Pillow Talk with Special Offers.
Yelling: ALEXA! HOW CAN I GET CONSUMER PROTECTION IN THE UNITED STATES?
Casper Pillow Talk with Special Offers: I’m sorry, I don’t understand. By the way, did you know that Amazon Pharmacy is now selling antidepressants at a discounted price? To order, just say “Add Xanax to my next drone delivery”. To receive the discount, say “I waive my right to sue Amazon via the justice system and agree to private corporate arbitration until the end of time!”
HP HQ to Printer: DRINK A VERIFICATION CARTRIDGE
Sounds like it’s from The Hunt for Red October
PLEASE DRINK A VERIFICATION CAN
My Cherry Blues: I’M DOING MY PART
Αυτό είναι το αστείο
This is the joke
I find that I think about the Byzantine Empire more often than the Roman Empire
Spiderman: Shoots webs
Spidersilkman: Shoots bulletproof kimonos
Un-dean-iable
I think Socrates would say “Why are you asking the question in the first place?”
My dad told me that walnuts were owl eggs.
He got in trouble when I stole all the walnuts in the house and wrapped them in nose tissues to keep them warm so they would hatch and I would have baby owls.
It has a can do attitude
It’s in there: