

I feel you could choose another metaphor though, and it would make sense.
Like, when you go to a shop to buy something or buy something online, you have already chosen the destination. Then you decide how you pay, choosing the source.
To me both make sense equally.
Lesbian relationships on TV and in other media are often portrayed with a male gaze and/or fetishising. Do you think that that might play a role in making you feel uncomfortable?
It’s very hard to tell from the outside what’s the cause of the way you’re feeling. But I guess the best thing you can do is to try to improve and to keep investigating your emotions.