Save it for a while in case you ever need to leave your boyfriend suddenly. Or there’s an emergency. They’re paying you so you don’t need to work. Once you’re working, give it back and come clean then. If you aren’t working, you really don’t want to get rid of safety money.

My roommate had this happen. He got it again, but less bad, when he got a booster. I think it initially took a couple weeks to go away, but I might not remember correctly. I think some people are inclined to have this happen.

Someone I know felt she was having a heart attack, pulled over, and called 911. I think that’s the sort of scenario this is about.

I’ve lived in and around forests my entire life and existed near innumerable squirrels. I even worked for a lady who fed squirrels, so I’ve been near squirrels who are overly used to humans. I have no idea what I’d do if one attacked me out of nowhere. I just leave them be, so it’d be like if a chair suddenly went for the throat as I walked past. I’m out here being careful to not startle a bear into attacking, like a fool.

“My [son’s] asthma has been triggered multiple times because of this, and I had to take him to the doctor three times,” one parent said, asking to remain anonymous.

Like, there were students at my highschool who released stink bombs a couple times, but you’d think an adult would figure out they should quit the prank when kids started having breathing problems.

If I eat something that has gone bad and I get food poisoning, I might be unable to eat that food for a long time afterwards. Even if I really want to and miss it and am super careful to make sure it’s safe. I might feel mildly sick even just from the smell of it. My body is just trying to protect me, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that food, but it sucks. Given time, and in some cases careful cautious introduction, I might be able to get it down again. Had this experience with a pot pie once, and it took a couple years to eat them again, even when I looked at the box and thought I wanted it for dinner.

With people, the reintroduction process feels unfair. It is unfair. You aren’t the same person who hurt her, but unfortunately you’re introducing similar feelings or experiences. She wants to kiss people again, she liked kissing people in the past, and she wants to kiss you specifically, when she considers you. But when the moment arrives, or she thinks about the moment arriving in reality, her body goes DANGER DANGER because one time she kissed someone and a horrible thing happened.

It’s unfair to her, too. This is an unbelievably shitty thing to have to work through. She might even desperately want a relationship with someone kind, like I’m sure you are, but if she isn’t able to know how long it will be until you can have the physical relationship you both want, it makes sense that she’d step back from you. This could take years to resolve, or it might never resolve. She might be being kind to you by turning you down, or she might be being selfish because she doesn’t think she can handle navigating someone else’s feelings while hers are so intense. It’s fine if her reason is either, or both.

So, yeah, what she’s describing sounds pretty normal for someone with trauma. I hope life treats you both with more kindness and you meet someone who can return your feelings, and she figures out a treatment that helps her find peace.

I can’t find any studies on this. I don’t really trust personal perception for this one, and I’m also curious.

Never sure how to answer this one, since I’m bi and like f/f as well. I tend to like particular dynamics in romance, and men are more likely to be depicted having some of them. There are some other dynamics women are more likely to be depicted having with each other, and when I’m in the mood for those stories I read more f/f.

It’s interesting to hear from someone who used something like it. I never even thought about how much sweat would be a problem.

You never have to feel a particular way. If anyone says you have to feel bad, or that you shouldn’t feel bad if you do, they’re wrong. Not how feelings work. Some people feel better knowing that their abusers are shit because their folks are shit, and it had very little to do with you, other than your convenience as a victim when they wanted to hurt someone. But what you feel just is.

I try to just look at what I’m feeling, and accept it, without judgement. Don’t turn away, but don’t dwell. It makes it easier to decide reasonable action later. Not detached from emotion (impossible) but understanding it as a part and not the entirety of behavior, where right and wrong start to come into play.

A lady I know got facebook scammed by someone pretending to be like a favorite actor of hers. She had brain damage from diabetes.

Scammers often make their scams slightly unbelievable so they only hit people who aren’t entirely with it anymore. Dementia makes great targets.

The thought of reaching into my toolbox and pulling out a measuring tape that’s labeled wrong without knowing it. He did a good job with this comic. That thought sucks so bad.

This hurts so bad to think about

I was going to answer and then realized that the last kid I would’ve watched when they got their first electronics is now 13. Time…is marching on…

Found only in males, the forehead rod—called a tenaculum—is the ghost sharks’ only source of distinct teeth, and it seems to be used to grasp females in much the same way sharks use their toothy mouths in mating.

Tenaculum is the new word of the day!

Is it a grievance or mild irritation? People constantly annoy each other over small things. If someone is genuinely deeply angry to the point where it’s a grievance about the little things in the original post, that’s a different matter.

If “sorry” for small inconveniences feels wrong, other vocalizations can take their place and serve the same purpose. Like “whoops” for dropping something or “hello, what do you need? i have to get back to this pretty quickly, though” for getting pulled out of work by someone with a question.

It doesn’t feel fake to me because this is just how “sorry” is used in these contexts. “social lubricant to move on from minor inconveniences and acknowledge the other party’s humanity” may not be in the dictionary, but it’s how it’s used over and over again, and that’s what language is. Shared, agreed on meaning. Is this prone to huge amounts of error? yup! Communication sucks when you aren’t naturally inclined to pick up non literal meanings for things.

Normally, I’d tack on an apology here for rambling, or going on so long, just as an acknowledgement that my inability to say things consisely is an inconvenience to read for other people. That would make this a shorter paragraph, and hopefully make people more inclined to engage in their reply to me with good faith, since I’ve shown my awareness that what I typed could’ve been a slog for them to read.

There are times when apologies are more of a social lubricant or a way to signal you aren’t angry or hostile. Quickly apologizing for not hearing your coworker and asking them what they need might speed things along and get them away from you faster. You don’t need to feel any real sympathy for them. In this situation, an apology is more like a rote phrase said to ease into conversation and allow the other person a few seconds to move from “get their attention” mode back to “thing i need to say to them” mode.

For personal information, the purpose of an apology is just to slightly gentle the blow of not answering the question. Useful for maintaining a neutral relationship with coworkers. If the question is reasonable but you don’t want to answer (how was your vacation? do you like a particular musician?), you might consider tacking on an apology. If the question is out of line or inappropriate in that environment (are you gay? do you have a good relationship with your parents? what’s your body count? why won’t you give me $100?) a lack of apology gives them less opportunity to press.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at with it, but I’m not known for being socially adroit. A real apology is longer and comes with recognition of harm done, etc. You’re so sorry you spilled that coffee on their lap. You’ll watch where you’re going from now on. Do they need a first aid kit or some towels? The kind of day to day apology for not hearing someone is just a brief acknowledgement of them as a human so you can both get on with things.

i can’t see it there since i don’t have a fedia.io account. if the mod was falseprophet i see from other sites they were banned 10 days ago from a bunch of communities. the reason is just “automod,” but i don’t know what that means. I still see them posting on bside 8 hours ago on my own instance.

It’s difficult to discuss this issue, because loneliness is so personal. This all is.

I’m glad you asked the question and are trying to genuinely understand where critics are coming from. All of this (like, society) is a mess and we’ve all been hurt and it makes doing better a struggle because, how do you see anything past the pain from your own wounds?

When I was very young, my father would hit me for crying, so when I was a little older, hearing that little boys weren’t supposed to cry just made me go “me neither.” But (without justifying my father) understanding that he did it because society and his own parents fucked him up on this issue, and his parents were fucked up by their parents, makes it possible to envision a way things could be different.

Not everyone gets past that hurt, though. Like a young man abused by his mother dismissing the idea of misogyny. The statistics are just statistics. The memories of that pain are visceral and real.