cobysev

When I was a kid, I always got confused for an adult. Nobody believed I was a minor. I once got confused for a college student when I was just about to graduate from elementary school.

Now I’m 41 and I have the opposite problem. Everyone thinks I’m in my late 20s/early 30s. Even with a white patch on my beard, people still think I’m just a young man who’s going gray young.

It doesn’t help that I retired at 38 years old. No one believes me when I say I’m already retired. I’ve had a few people ask me if I’m just living with my parents and calling it “retired.” Ha!

Are you sure it wasn’t “queuing?” As in, “I’m queuing up some food to be cooked for our queue of orders.”

Thank you. As a former IT guy, I’ve been trying to keep my family away from Apple products. They’re way overpriced for their limited and locked down functionality compared to everything else out there.

My dad had Parkinson’s late in his life and my sister replaced his Android with an iPhone, specifically so she could give him this fitness tracker. He spent the last few years of his life struggling to figure out a new phone, and we could never get the damn app to work anyway. He fell all the time and it never once reported it.

I spent 20 years in the IT field and getting my computer-illiterate family to consult me before buying computer tech is like pulling teeth. I offer them free consultation and support all the time and they just go out and buy spyware-riddled junk on their own. They only come to me when their stuff is no longer useable.

My sister finally stopped buying iPads… only for her to go and buy Amazon Fire tablets for her kids. I had to go in and lock them down because they were constantly shoving ads into every function of the tablet. Her kids kept trying to buy games because they were constantly being advertised to them. And guess who left their credit card credentials on the tablet?

My apologies, /rant.

Steam Link used to be a small box you could buy, to stream your Steam games directly to a TV in your home. It included a Steam controller, to play your games, or you could plug in a keyboard and mouse to the box. But they stopped making them and turned Steam Link into an app. It’s still an app you can download on most smart TVs.

Maybe the PlayStation Store once has a deal to use the Steam Link app through their console in a limited capacity? There’s another app called Steam Chat, which is just the social side of Steam, showing your Steam friends, chats, and groups.

I’m just about to turn 41 and I had several experiences with long-distance relationships before I got married. Heck, I got hitched before online dating became a common thing; I totally missed the boat on that. I feel like online dating would’ve made my life much easier because I’m an introvert who sucked at talking face-to-face with anyone I had a crush on. But I could chat online all night and seduce practically anyone with my charm and wits. I had serious game as long as I was behind a computer screen, haha! And I was pretty handsome in my youth, so I never disappointed when people met me in person.

In 2001, I was 17 and long-distance dating my best friend’s 3rd-cousin. She lived about 3 states away. We got to know each other through AOL Instant Messenger after my friend asked me to chat with her one night. We’d be chatting all night, keeping each other company with only typed words. I only met her twice in person. The second time, she decided that the long distance relationship was too hard to maintain. She was about to graduate and go off to college anyway. I still had another year of high school before I was free.

A few years later, when I was 20, I had joined the US Air Force and was stationed in Japan for my first assignment. I found myself dating a local Filipino girl. She was 27, and the most advanced tech she owned was a flip phone. Planning dates was awful because I didn’t even own a mobile phone, so I had to hang out near my landline phone at home and wait for her to call when she was ready for me to pick her up. She would soak in the tub for 3+ hours each night before our dates, so I spent most of my evenings just sitting at home, waiting for her call. She didn’t own a car, so I had to go pick her up.

In 2005, I got deployed to Africa for 4 months. I basically told my girlfriend that I would be unreachable while I was there, but if the opportunity arose, I’d try to contact her. I wrote her a few letters while I was gone, and even sent a few brief emails to her phone. She had some email service that would forward messages to her flip phone, but only if it was less than 20 characters. She didn’t own a computer. I got to call her only once, but we were limited to a 5-minute call, and someone was always listening to the conversation, to make sure I didn’t discuss classified information.

I came home from Africa and my girlfriend was so excited to see me again, she planned to spend the night at my place. But after a very passionate “reunion” that night, she suddenly got very quiet. She wouldn’t look at me and refused to talk. After coaxing her for a bit, she finally opened up and accused me of cheating on her while I was gone! When I asked where she got that idea, she said the sex was so good, I must have been practicing with other girls! I tried to explain that it was just the pent up emotions from being abstinent for so long, but she wouldn’t hear it. She had thoroughly convinced herself and she dumped me that night.

I went home on vacation to visit family shortly after that and wound up meeting the girl who would eventually become my wife. She was the college roommate of an ex-girlfriend of mine whom I was still close friends with. My soon-to-be wife and I spent a few days of my vacation hanging out, then I went back to Japan and we stayed in touch over AOL Instant Messenger. We chatted almost every day and got to know each other really well.

When I got sent to Oklahoma for my next assignment, less than a year later, I was only a few states away from my eventual wife, and she asked if I would be willing to try a long-distance relationship with her. I had finally received my first-ever mobile phone (a flip-phone) and I made an effort to call her at least once a week. Outside of that, we stayed in touch via email or through AOL Instant Messenger. About once a year, when I had saved up some vacation days, I would drive the 7+ hours out to her home and I would spend a week or two staying with her before returning to my military base.

A year later, she graduated college and wanted to move in with me, but I got deployed to Iraq a week before she was supposed to move in. So I mailed her a house key and told her to make herself comfortable and I would be back in 4 months. While I was deployed, we chatted almost daily through Gchat, Google’s attempt at an instant messenger program embedded in Gmail.

I eventually came home and we lived together for about 9 months before I got a new assignment to South Korea. I was going to be stationed there for 1 year before being reassigned to Germany. I couldn’t bring my girlfriend along, so she went back to her home state for the year. I promised we’d meet up in Germany a year later.

A half year later, I went home on vacation and proposed to my then-girlfriend. She said yes, but also dropped a bombshell: she didn’t know how to keep a steady job if she was just going to be following me around the world, moving every few years at the whim of the military. So she asked if I was okay with her joining the military as well. She had learned a lot about military life and how excellent the benefits and pay were, and she wanted to try it for herself.

So I took her to a military recruiter, got her signed up, then I went back to South Korea for the second half of my year-long assignment.

But I told her, if she joined as a single woman, she would get a random assignment somewhere in the world and I might never see her again. So I suggested that we just get the legal paperwork for marriage out of the way so she’s legally tied to me, then we can plan a big wedding some other time when we’re living closer to home. If we’re legally married, then the military would keep us assigned together.

So we looked into the legal process for her home state and found out I didn’t have to be physically present to get married, and we were allowed to sign the marriage license in advance of the ceremony. So she mailed a marriage license to me, I signed it with a legal notary as witness, then I mailed it back to her and she signed it as well.

Then she asked a friend of hers who was an ordained minister to perform a brief ceremony to legally wed us. My wife invited her military recruiter as a witness and they performed the wedding ceremony from her bedroom. I joined the ceremony over Skype, from my dormitory room in South Korea.

During that time, I only lost connection once. Webcams were not very reliable in those days (around 2009), so it was a miracle I only dropped the call once during the ceremony.

After the ceremony, her recruiter borrowed the wedding license to update her status as married before she officially joined the US military. 5 days later, my wife left for military basic training and it was almost a half a year later that I got to see her again. I couldn’t reach her while she was in training. I got assigned to Germany and my wife followed me there about 3 months later.

And that was pretty much the end of my struggles with old-fashioned long-distance dating. In 2009, I got my first-ever smartphone while in Germany (an iPhone 3S) and staying in touch with people became a lot easier from that point on.

Oh yeah, and I had the worst time staying in touch with my family while I was in the military. My mother would always mail me calling cards (back when long-distance phone calls were expensive as hell). She expected ME to reach out to HER, though. I gave her my email address, but she almost never emailed me. She thought it was MY responsibility as her son to call her.

Suffice to say, I didn’t have much contact with my family in the 20 years I spent in the military. Long-distance phone calls were expensive and difficult to figure out when I was stationed outside the US, and I was always a bad conversationalist on the phone. If I couldn’t see who I was talking to, my brain would wander and I’d lose track of the conversation. I learned at 37 years old that I have a bad case of ADHD, which explained my struggles with staying in touch with people who weren’t physically nearby.

My wife and I moved in with my dad when I retired from the military a few years ago, but my mother had divorced him and moved across the country by then, so I still struggle to stay in touch with her. I’m trying to text her more often, but she’s extremely old-fashioned and expects me to call her instead of messaging. She’s 100% a boomer (born in the '40s) and is completely tech-illiterate. It’s very frustrating. She doesn’t really believe in ADHD and thinks it’s just an excuse to be lazy, so she regularly plays the victim when I don’t contact her enough. Which just makes me dread calling her.

So I guess I’m still struggling to communicate in an old-fashioned way with my mother, even to this day. But I’m pretty good at staying in touch with other friends and family via more modern communications.

Take YouTube Shorts for instance. I’ve made it clear I hate these things, but they keep popping up on my homepage every other week.

🤔 What’s the deal with this endless pushing of features we hate? Are they just ignoring user feedback entirely, or is there some secret strategy I’m not seeing?

TikTok is insanely popular among the younger generations, so YouTube, also being a video hosting site, wanted to jump on that bandwagon and leech some of the revenue from that style of video. So they came up with YouTube Shorts, to mimic the popular short-form upright video style.

The problem is, YouTube is NOT TikTok. Most of their user base doesn’t go to YouTube for short-form videos. So getting their audience to engage with YouTube Shorts requires them to shove it in our faces until we just get used to it.

That’s the strategy; beat us with it until we give in. They know we’re not going to go away. People aren’t organized enough to properly protest against features in a way that will scare a company into fixing it. So they’re going to keep harassing us until we’re so used to seeing it, we just don’t care anymore. Or until their content attracts the TikTok generation and successfully feeds a whole new category of revenue for the company. That’s the enshittification process for you; as long as it’s profitable, it’s going to stay.

I forget how I did it, but I blocked YouTube Shorts from showing up in my feed. I use Firefox with uBlock Origin and that removes all ads on YouTube. I even blocked the YouTube app on my phone and redirected all YouTube links to Firefox.

I used to have another extension that blocked YouTube Shorts, but I don’t see it in my extensions anymore. But they still don’t show, so maybe uBlock Origin is doing it for me?

I also don’t allow YouTube to keep a history of my activity. Which makes my homepage just a blank screen. I’d been fighting them for years, trying to remove all suggested videos from my homepage, and now it’s so simple: I just don’t save my activity and they don’t recommend anything to me.

I have subscriptions that I follow and that’s it; I don’t let them suggest videos for me to watch. I don’t need to feed their algorithms or help them build a better profile on me. I’m very anti-advertisement already, and I do my best to not let companies influence my economic behavior.

Movies have actually been a huge influence on America’s view on sexuality, if not the largest influence.

There’s one organization, CARA (the Classification and Rating Administration) who provides ratings for movies and TV shows in the US, and they’ve heavily censored nudity in film for decades, giving films shockingly high ratings if even a breast is flashed on screen for a moment.

This has caused studios to limit nude scenes, or to be extremely creative about sex scenes, to avoid higher ratings. Because the higher the rating, the smaller the audience will be, and they want to appeal to a larger audience.

If you watch American films from the 70s and earlier, seeing casual nudity in a film was a pretty normal thing, whereas you have to buy a porno just to see any nudity today.

This had a nasty backfire effect, where our culture now associates nudity with sex. We don’t appreciate the natural human body unless it’s under the context of sexual desire or procreation.

The crazy thing is, nobody really knows who the members of CARA are. Their identity is kept secret. The heads of their organization are known; you can check them out on their official website (https://www.filmratings.com/About), but the organization as a whole keeps their members’ names secret. So we have no idea who these people are who are censoring nudity in American films.

This depends on a lot of factors. If you’re part of a targeted demographic due to race, gender, religion, etc., then it might be safer to flee before you draw attention to yourself.

If you’re not a targeted demographic, then it might be best to stick around and stand up for your fellow citizens. But this could also lump you in with the targeted demographic and might eventually lead to your own persecution, so it’s a risky choice.

Either way, I still advocate for standing up to any oppression or persecution going on in your home country. No one should ever lose their home to dictators and/or fascists.

This is actually how a lot of states get divided politically. People see a place as a “red state” or a “blue state” and decide to either avoid them or move away if their political ideology doesn’t line up. But that just further entrenches the area into a political leaning. By sticking around and advocating for human rights and better community and respect, you can help prevent the splitting of communities and stop divisive concepts like fascism from forming.

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR CURRENT PLEX PASS HOLDERS:
For users who have an active Plex Pass subscription, remote playback will continue to be available to you without interruption from any Plex Media Server, after these changes go into effect. When running your own Plex Media Server as a subscriber, other users to whom you have granted access can also stream from the server (whether local or remote), without ANY additional charge—not even a mobile activation fee. More on that later in this update.

I was worrying about this change because my Plex server provides free streaming for several of my friends and family and I didn’t want them to have to start paying for it. The whole point was to get them away from Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, etc.

But this sounds like, since I’m already a Plex Pass subscriber, my remote viewers will still be able to access my stuff for free. Do I have that right? Because if so, this change is just business as usual for me.

He fixed it. They’re swapped now.

I saw the “Women in Metal” title and thought this would be a thread about women in trade jobs (i.e. metalworking).

In the US? Democrats vs. Republicans.

According to the rest of the world, the US doesn’t have a left party. Democrats are right wing and Republicans are extremist right wing. The left is completely unrepresented in our government. Both major parties lean conservative (from a global perspective) and care more about helping major businesses and the rich elite than actually representing the people.

That’s why there’s a whole movement centered around “no war but class war.” The American people are not actually represented and are instead pitted against each other in this fake “red vs. blue” distraction so we don’t actually go after our political leaders, or weed out the source of the money behind the scenes that dictate their actions.

I mean, I am the source. This was my personal experience while serving in the military.

But if you want official reports to back up what I experienced, here’s you go:

Intelligence officials withheld sensitive information from Trump while he was in office because they feared the ‘damage’ he could do if he knew.

I was working in an Intelligence unit when Trump was president (not the one directly briefing him) and it’s all anyone talked about at the time. They had to be extremely careful what information they shared with him because he would just go and post details on his social media accounts.

My unit had to change a lot of their missions and coordination because Trump would expose our secrets online. It ruined a lot of ongoing missions we had planned, and we had to scrap and rebuild a lot of our programs after he blabbed about them.

Trump fires top US general in unprecedented Pentagon shakeup

This was more recent, after I retired. But he basically fired our top military leaders, then made his own suggestions for replacements, completing ignoring the official promotion system we have in place.

He didn’t want people with years of experience and exemplary service to lead our military, he just wants his own loyalists in charge so he can control the military. He nominated highly unqualified people for the positions, with the only seemingly common quality being that they were loyal to Trump.

He was also annoyed at how hard it was to replace key people and wanted to circumvent official processes so he can hire and fire people at will, like his old businesses.

I retired from the US military 3 years ago. Yes, they can refuse unlawful orders. If I was still serving, I’d be abusing the hell out of that regulation right now.

During Trump’s last presidency, our intelligence community actually held back a lot of details in his intelligence briefings because we knew he couldn’t be trusted to keep his mouth shut. He has a top secret clearance, not because he could be trusted with it, but because it was a requirement for his job. And he also reversed our decision to withhold clearances from sketchy members of our government, so a lot of untrustworthy people also got access to our sensitive data, and thanks to that, we had a lot of compromised missions during his first tenure as president.

But we also had a majority Democrat government, which kept him in check. This time around, he’s attempting to replace everyone he can with his “yes men” so he gets no push-back. He’s even been trying to replace military generals with his own loyalists. If he can control the military, he can basically stage a coup overnight and no one will be able to stop him.

Things are getting really dangerous right now, so that regulation about refusing unlawful orders is very important, and I hope our current military members are willing to exercise it as needed.

Did you also notice the baseball cap to the bottom right of the fire? I didn’t see it until just after I made my comment.

That camo jacket seems a little too close to the fire…

Back when I was a teenager (~25 years ago), I had the worst time waking up every morning for school. My dad would have to come drag me out of bed, then I would be sitting in the shower dozing for a while before I actually started cleaning myself. Like, literally sitting - I would sit on the edge of the tub while in the shower and just slip in and out of consciousness for a little bit until I was awake enough to shower.

Of course, this made me run late every morning. My dad always poked his head into the bathroom to yell at me that I’m going to miss my school bus if I don’t hurry up. I rarely ever missed the bus, but I also barely caught it most days, which always made my dad anxious about my morning routine.

As a healthy young teenager, I always had morning wood that wouldn’t quit. I had gotten used to it, so getting ready in the mornings with a raging boner wasn’t unusual. But I was generally pretty good at keeping it hidden from others until it went away.

One particular morning, I had gone through my shower-sleep routine and finally got around to cleaning myself. I had lathered up my entire body with soap and was scrubbing all the cracks and crevices thoroughly (I was a bit OCD when it came to cleanliness).

This day, my dad had finally had enough and decided to see what took me so long in the shower every day. Out of nowhere, he whipped open the shower curtain and opened his mouth to yell at me.

I was standing there, frozen in shock, both hands gripping my soapy raging boner. My dad glanced down, then back up at my face, then gave me the goofiest smile I’d ever seen him make. Then he wordlessly shut the shower curtain and walked away.

It took me a minute to realize why he changed his mind about yelling at me; it didn’t process at first what the situation he walked into looked like. I was just washing my body, after all.

My dad never again yelled at me to hurry up in the shower.

Well, I did serve throughout the Iraq War. I got some PTSD from my time in war zones that is a 70% disability rating alone. Plus several minor and major physical injuries over the years that I never fully recovered from.

The VA doesn’t do a direct addition when it comes to disability, so a 10% rating and a 10% rating doesn’t equal a 20% rating overall. They have some weird equation to calculate disability, which would probably bring it out to 12-15% disability total. But I had so many claims to submit, I made it all the way to 100%.

I thought I had maybe 2-3 medical claims to make when I retired. But I spoke with a VA counselor who spent 3 hours pouring over my 20 years of medical records in the military, then went over every single body part and asked detailed questions about my functionality and how it’s potentially degraded over the years since I joined the military. By the end, I had 33 claims to submit, and the VA accepted 30 of them. Enough small ratings (plus a few large ones) got me all the way to 100%.

I may not look disabled if you met me in person, but I am struggling, both mentally and physically. The VA actually fixed my knees; I was walking with a cane for the last 4 years I was in the military. But it’s not a perfect fix, so I still struggle to get around and I can’t run anymore without pain. But I don’t need a cane anymore, so there’s that.

YOU ARE ONLY 38?!

I was 38 when I retired three years ago, actually. I’m about to turn 41 in a few months. Sorry if I didn’t write that clearly in my comment.

The first few years going home feels like nothing ever changes but I recently went to my home town for a wedding and saw some friends for the first time in 15 years. Wow did the passage of time hit me like a truck.

I feel this. In my early years of the military, I used to take a month off every year and go home to chill with family and friends. The first few years of that, it was like nothing changed. But then I started dating my future wife and spending my time off traveling and honeymooning with her. When I did finally go home again, I almost didn’t recognize it. My friends and family had moved further away, my hometown had changed, everything was suddenly different.

True, 38 isn’t that old. But keep in mind, I’m 100% disabled according to the VA. Two decades of military service has wrecked my body, so I’m unable to work any physically demanding job. Heck, I struggle just to go up and down stairs in my own house without pain in my knees and back.

Which is a shame, because I was an extremely fit and active person in my youth. That’s part of the reason I joined the military - I was in the best shape of my life and could keep active all day without breaking a sweat. I’m actually frustrated now that just walking from my house to my mailbox takes me out of action for an hour or two.

I keep telling myself I’m young, but my body’s acting like it’s 80 years old. That’s the one downside to military service; it can easily overstress your joints and physically age you much faster than normal.