I loathe trunk or treat. It’s not the same as trick or treating, it’s cheating. When I was young the only way I got a bunch of candy was to run all over the neighborhood, and then run to the other neighborhoods to squeeze in more. I was out and about, acting the fool, where chicanery abounds. I’d end up at home, exhausted at the end of the night.
Today’s kids walk around a parking lot. It’s just not the same.
When we were kids halloween was the best. As an adult, there was nothing more I looked forward to than handing out candy, seeing costumes, scaring some kids with all my decorations. But now it’s all sanitized and boiled down into the something as ludicrous as walking around a parking lot asking for handouts from cars. What, are they just prepping the nations children for a life of panhandling? Joking aside, it’s just not as fun for anyone involved. I don’t want to drive somewhere and decorate the fucking trunk of my car (especially when I decorated my house already?), and the kids don’t want to walk around a parking lot!
Trunk or treat is the worst solution to a problem that doesn’t exist.
Before I moved to the southern US, the only time I’d ever encountered one is when I was a kid. My older brother was in a science class that had “pet german hissing cockroaches,” and it was his turn to take them home with him. Well, I dunno if he let them out on purpose or what, but I was showering in our shared bathroom, and when I went to unfold and use my towel, I discovered that it was full of those disgusting creatures. I flew out of that bathroom, man. So my very first experience with them was traumatizing, and now I live in the South, and these things are the bane of my existence. Every few days (now that it’s getting colder) I’ll see one and it feels like a pustule of hate bursts within me, renewing my sense of bewilderment that man, in all his glory, cannot rid himself of these loathsome, vile things.
I need to move, man.