When I was an intern in IT in the olden days a manager once decided to send an apology gift to every single employee for his botched project. It was a switch from analog phones to VoIP with Skype that really wasn’t so complicated but left a bunch of people without working phones for days. The gift? A snickers bar in a big paper bag with a sticker on it. I had to put three hundred stickers on those bags and then hand them to people who were very confused to find a tiny snickers in them. Now they told me to hand it out with a smile and tell them we’re really sorry but I’d hand them out with my best I’d-really-rather-be-somewhere-else-face and say “trust me, nobody finds this more stupid than me.”

Username checks out. Didn’t mean to offend your people. At least you suck blood for nourishment and not just for fun.

The vampires of the Nestlé board don’t like being blinded by bright screens as they roam the night in search for the blood of the innocent.

I for one am ready for a public servant AI that gives you form Y34-b and sends you to another AI that then tells you it should’ve been form Y34-a and only the third AI can fix it but they’re currently on vacation so you’ll have to comeback another time on a Monday or Wednesday between 10:00 and 10:30am.

They store unencrypted passwords in the year of our lord 2023? Be this real?

good job

What are you doing honey? I’m ironing the iPod. Wha-why? I HAVE TO FINISH THE CYCLE!

Hold up, bear with me here, what if, ULTIMATE FIGHTING SUBS! Two billionaires have to build and pilot their own submarines to fight to the death in front of the titanic.