invested in his crypto scheme bribed him

Fixed that.

I did exactly that for my mom. Totally non-technical, but she was beginning to absolutely hate all the invasive noise and crap from Windows. All she wanted was to write free of distraction.

So we backed up her files, set up Cinnamon, installed LibreOffice, and imported her files. I set the system up to be offline, since it’s her no-distractions computer, showed her the basics of using it, and basically haven’t heard a peep about it since.

Linux just works, without the bullshit.

Okay, at first I literally did think this was an Onion headline, it’s so fucking idiotic.

Unlike a lot of people, I think the orange shit-head is more evil than stupid… But goddamn, he’s also incredibly stupid.

We’re pretty stupid over here right now. Sorry, world.

It’s old, but… I’ll allow it.

Also…

Dingdong. Willy. Johnson. One-eyed sailor. Trouser snake.

Now it’s your turn.

Here’s one!

The Alex Jones one actually gave me a good “That’s pretty Onion-y” hit.

Yes, but if you report them, I find them faster.

And people will fall for it. Again.

Jesus fucking Christ I hate this timeline.

Sorry guys, this one’s locked now. Y’all need to grow the fuck up.

Uhh, think you could rephrase this so it doesn’t sound like you’re rooting for the Waymo in any Waymo-bicycle accident?

That’s actually really shocking. I looked it up, and you’re correct. Hijackings were extremely common in the 60s and 70s.

https://www.columbiatribune.com/story/news/columns/2023/07/02/miller-airplane-hijackings-during-the-late-60s-and-early-70s/70365468007/

I had to double-check. It’s a real story, being carried by real news outlets.

Hold up… Bigfoot’s an Oregonian, damn it! Stop stealing our cryptids, California!

Yes, but you see… Acknowledging reality is woke.

To the people reporting this: Yes, it’s a prank by the governor. But he really did so it, even as a prank, and the news covered it. So the story can stay.

Looks like that was a mistake and he removed the “gay” reference. Not sure what he actually intended to write, though.

9.5 out of 10. In his dick.

Has anyone asked him why he wants to live forever if that’s what it takes?