I have sun sneezes but I only sneeze once.

If you can’t remember the alphabet, your education has failed you big time.

I have a friend with lupus who votes Trump. She is very, very ill and will be bankrupt soon.

If you bought it without ads and it started showing ads, that would be a breach of contract.

When you have an android phone you should also turn it off.

What other European country uses two round elections apart from France?

I think it’s terrible too, but if people like it, I won’t yuck their yum.

Instant coffee has its uses, but it ain’t coffee.

Ayup. There’s such a thing as rich chavs (called bogans in Australia).

The downvoting isn’t because the question is stupid.

People don’t seem to realise you will build up a tolerance. My ex used to buy large bags of pickled hot jalapeños. Initially he could eat one or two, after a while he’d eat the entire bag without sweating.

We used to complain when my mother added a teaspoon of sambal to the nasi, now she adds two tablespoons.

There were tons of Bibles, but the Romans only accepted this one. The assumption is that the others weren’t very nice about the Romans. Think about it, a bunch of stories written during an occupation that barely mention the oppressors? And when they do they’re nice about them? That makes no sense.

Joke’s on you, I think everyone looks like a twat in a baseball cap.

They’re a pretentious little prick.

I have it. I’m used to it. It’s not as if I can do something about it.

Bits of them are being made public all the time. There’s so much incriminating stuff out there, it’s pretty damn obvious that nothing will affect Trump.

Oooh, they’re fun (not), especially when they happen in the middle of the night.

Trust me, you can get tinnitus from listening to very loud music just the once. I’ve had it since I stood next to a speaker during a concert. Why the speaker was so low down is beyond me. Wasn’t able to hear anything for a couple of hours and I’ve been hearing gas boiler noises ever since.

Or long covid. So many people have long covid it ain’t funny.

My neighbour doesn’t even go inside when she comes back from work, she parks her car, ditches her bag in the bike shed, hops on her bicycle and tears off into the distance. I’ve seen her on her racing bike in a suit.

So, don’t give yourself the chance to veg out, do something on the way back home or go for a walk before you go in?