We are all living in Cthulhu’s world now.

Maybe something by Gloria Estefan? The background music you provided has that crooner / Latin flair.

The more well off ones usually have a connected airport and “fuck-you-money” level security. As someone else mentioned, helicopters are an option, or perhaps boat if they’re by a waterway.

So congratulations, you’ve trapped the community doctors and lawyers, maybe a very well off Grammy or two with limited faculties, but you’ve set off the alarm bells to the true predators of society, who’ve now made it to Madagascar and shut down the ports.

It’s all in the method. Some bots can fuck us. Other bots can go fuck themselves.

Oh bud, are you new here? Welcome. This particular corner bar of the Internet that you’ve stumbled into doesn’t take kindly to technology that severs the person from the job.

One of the wittier guys in the trailer park I grew up in did that trick where it looks like you can pull one of your fingers off from one hand. As an 8 year old, that was fucking cool. Perhaps you could even augment it with some fake blood.

Another time he did the quarter behind your ear trick and then gave us the quarter.

To this day, I still remember him more than any shucker of a Milky Way or Babe Ruth candy bar. So yeah, go for it, make an impression.

You know it’s because they ate it right? That’s the only possible reason.

Federal workers will get back pay. You’re parroting the right’s messaging. People wanted the left to fight.

Because of how the people gave the right all of the levers of government last election, this is one of the few areas where dems have any power to wield - senate needs 60% to pass any funding legislation.

You wanted a battle, the dems took it to the mattresses. We should be praising them for being bold and we, the left, should be seeking out those government workers who are struggling the most and doing gofundme’s to care for them. This is a war and they are soldiers on the front lines, directly in the line of fire. We need to be their support regiment.

Conversely, the right needs to feel the pain of what a lack of federal government looks like, because a lot of them don’t value it at all, because they don’t understand how it serves them. They only see it as “protection money” that come out of their paycheck. For them, we need to find the union workers who left the left. We need to gain back the dirt farmers in Montana, the disenfranchised Hispanics in Southern Texas and in the burroughs of NYC and the suburbanite moms in Bucks County. Moreover, we need to fight like hell to show that we give a damn and have a spine and that we will, we will, fight for them.

Ever cut a channel into a beam of wood? Measure once, maybe twice. Take your table saw and cut until you can’t keep cutting. Serial Mahoganist should be one tick before last.

Guy just has to live everything by his own eyes doesn’t he? I guess this is what happens when you don’t trust anyone.

Gives Bagaram to the Taliban, decides to take it back. Dissolves NAFTA, mostly brings it back Wants to give Ukraine to Russia, now wants to fight Russia Wants to dissolve NATO, now wants to use NATO to shoot down airplanes What’s next, the TPP? Siding with Palestine?

Dude is the pure definition of that “I made this” meme

Not sure why I hadn’t thought about this before, but this seems like a fantastic idea for missile defense. Just have a constant wave of drones near each significant city that can move in unison to the threatened area and act as explosive chaff to absorb the strikes.

I could see this being used as a line in nuclear missile deterrent if they were high enough - just flood the zone.

This guy’s a stoner.

These are the useless kind of you should know facts that I need in my life.

Could hot dogs serve the same purpose in a pinch?

I would have preferred it in the form of a limerick, but that’s why I listen to NPR.

I don’t understand humans. Everybody says they wish they could find a partner as loyal as their dog.

…but then you sniff one butt and you get the newspaper.

Yous askin too many questions, bub. Keep askin and ya may just find out.

This is challenging but it could be one of those excellent opportunities for you to learn and grow as a person and a professional. As a lawyer, you probably already understand that personal relationships and references are essential to this line of work, especially if you plan to move up to senior or partner.

Moreover, you seem to have some animosity towards her ways of working. You’ll need to work past that. Perhaps she had reasons that she arrived late, like a child at home and lack of childcare. Maybe an agreement with her boss due to work/life. As a lawyer you likely understand already that you really don’t know someone and what they’re dealing with until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So here’s how I’d handle it:

1. Prime the pump. Do you have client references that you could leverage? Could they start asking about you to your former boss?
2. Do you have senior members that you worked for that would be willing to have a chat about you to her to check her sentiment?
3. Crank the starter. Would you be willing to meet up with her professionally outside of work, coffee, drinks. To catchup, test the waters, play the game. During the meeting I wouldn’t outright talk to her about this new position, you want to make her feel comfortable with you again first. When you anticipate the timing is right, have a discussion about what her perceptions were, what went wrong and feedback on how you could improve. Listen, acknowledge, try not to push back on the little things, let ‘em slide. Certainly don’t be a pushover if it’s something that confronts your values or ethics. Actively seek her feedback here. You want her to recognize that, although you two had your challenges in the past, that you respect her as the senior professional that she is. Thank her for her time and offer to buy the coffee.
4. Shift into drive. Once you’ve at least partially mended the relationship (it may take a few meetings, you decide) and know where she’s coming from, that’s when you can matter of factly ask what she would need to consider being a colleague again. See how she responds, that will give you your answer and her requirements. If she’s somewhat decent judge of character, she’ll have understood your motives by now and knows the game y’all are playing.

Personal anecdote, last year I had someone dead-ass quit on me with no notice. He was smart, qualified, decent worker, had military experience which I appreciate. He reached out via email a month ago and said he was struggling with PTSD at the time, was trying to hold on, and underwent some therapy over the last 6 months. He asked if I’d consider hiring him again. Like lawyers, it’s damn hard to get decently qualified people in my line of work and it takes years to ramp them up to processes and procedures. I wasn’t willing to hire him back, because I can’t trust someone that flat out quits like that on me. But you know what I did? I sent him a list of contacts of people I know at sister agencies and said I’d be a reference for him if he wants to get back in the line of work. I think most people in this world generally do want others to be successful, we don’t like to see people suffer. I also think we as individuals get in our own heads a lot more than what serves us. So take the opportunity, see where it takes you. You miss all the shots…etc etc.

Hellraiser and the original Dune. Claymation looks so fake now, but it didn’t back then.

You know those movies as a young kid that you watch over and over? This was mine. From like 7 to 12 I would have these recurring dreams of a school with a flag in front and then going the stairs into a basement. I wondered where the hell it was coming from, then I watched the intro to the movie again in my 20s.

If not arachnophobia, then perhaps starship troopers?