I’m the dad of a 14-year-old boy. Growing up, my parents were very closed off and distant, so I never felt comfortable asking them personal questions, which honestly hurt me quite a bit. I promised myself that if I ever became a parent, I’d make sure my kid felt comfortable talking to me about anything. So recently, my son came to me and said he wanted to shave down there but was scared he might cut himself. He asked how to do it. I asked him if he wanted me to show him, and he said yes. So I showed him the process. He said, “Thanks, Dad,” and that was that. On one hand, I’m proud that I created the open environment I always wanted growing up. On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder if people around me would think it crossed a boundary.
No, it’s not.
I don’t see anything weird about this. Sounds like parenting.
Nah, you’re good. You asked and he answered. If it’s something that would happen at a doctor’s office, you’re good. If it’s something that would happen at a brothel, then that’s a problem. It’s all technical and you got consent.
I do the same when it comes to bodies. I ask my kids if they are comfortable or give them options. Let them know they’re in control of their bodies. Give them options. Example, we had a showering demonstration and I asked if they wanted to wear a swim suit or be naked.
Americans are so prude. lol.
I’m just going to disregard the whole “is it weird” because other commenters have already answered that and say this:
Thank you for being supportive of your son like that, not making them feel ashamed or uncomfortable for asking, and actually showing them since you know how to do it.
My dad wouldn’t even show me how to properly shave my face even when I asked, gave me a one sentence explanation, and just went back to whatever he was doing. I had to learn from YouTube and trial+error.
People are fucking weird. There’s also prudes and morons that assume any contact at all has to be some kind of horror.
But we’re supposed to teach our kids how to clean and manage their bodies. That’s the job; we do it for them when they’re too young to do it themselves, or if something temporarily/permanently disables them from doing so.
It isn’t weird to help with genital care under those circumstances either. You gotta teach kids how to wash their junk, and if they want/need to change their pubic hair, it’s part of the job to discuss it, decide if it’s the right choice at that point, and if the mutually agreed answer is yes, to teach them how not to screw up.
For real, who else is supposed to? You gonna hire a nurse or nurse’s assistant to teach them? That’s weird, and there aren’t any specialists in aesthetics that are going to agree to it in most circumstances when the kid is under the local age of consent. Too much risk.
And even that assumes that the kid is going to be okay with a stranger helping them with their genitals. Not every kid would be. For me, there’s no way I’m going to have a total stranger fiddling with my kid’s junk for non medical reasons, even if the kid was alright with it.
You did the job, end of story.
No. Please teach your child to groom himself safely. Particularly if he WANTS TO LEARN - that is a miracle in itself.
No boundaries were crossed. If anything you created a memory for him and when his son ask him for help he will remember this moment and repeat what you showed him. A+ dad!
people are expected to teach their kids to wash under the foreskin, and some people apparently think it’s just dandy to perform genital mutilation on their children, so no: teaching them to shave doesn’t register on the weirdness scale.
No, it’s just weird to ask about it on a public forum
I feel like no stupid questions includes no weird questions as well. Please don’t attack people for posting here.
Yeah! First, I don’t think it would be weird to ask it elsewhere, but definitely ok to ask it here.
Honestly? Congrats, you’re the dad many people wish they had. I’m not going to do that with my nephews, but I hope I get close to that aperture and understanding.
Not weird in my book! I used to shower with my parents when I was little.
When I was a younger I asked my dad this same question and I will never forget how frazzled he was by it. He told me some b.s. answer like, “Oh, I don’t know. You don’t really need to do that.”
He made me feel humiliated for asking. At a certain point I could not ignore it anymore though, so when I experimented and tried to figure it out myself, I did cut myself and there was blood everywhere. I was terrified and thought I was going to bleed out. Luckily it wasn’t really that bad and I managed it on my own, but I remember how scared I was.
After going through all that, I told myself that I would help my future son if he ever asked me a question like that. You are a better dad than mine was in this situation. It’s your job to help them with whatever they need, and it would have meant a lot to me back then if my dad had helped me the way you did. I can guarantee your son appreciated it and will remember how you looked out for him.
Trust your gut when it comes to these things - which it seems to me like you did. Doesn’t matter if everyone around you agrees. Still kudos for seeking a reality check. Better safe than sorry.
You’re a good dad. Not just because you helped your son, but even more so because he already had the confidence of knowing he can ask you a question like that.
Keep on doing what you’re doing. You’re a good dad.
I mean, this is not something I would necessarily recount to my colleagues or some acquaintances, but I would say you did good. You can be proud of yourself that you were able to create an atmosphere at home where your son felt comfortable asking this question, as you said it yourself.
If it hasn’t already happened, this might also be a good time to talk about safer sex to him.
This is a very european perspective, so depending on your location and other factors, your kilometrage may vary.
I feel like it’s weird to talk about kids learning hygiene or bathing or grooming at work is weird.
But super important to actually teach your kid- and id put this in that category.
