I’m the dad of a 14-year-old boy. Growing up, my parents were very closed off and distant, so I never felt comfortable asking them personal questions, which honestly hurt me quite a bit. I promised myself that if I ever became a parent, I’d make sure my kid felt comfortable talking to me about anything. So recently, my son came to me and said he wanted to shave down there but was scared he might cut himself. He asked how to do it. I asked him if he wanted me to show him, and he said yes. So I showed him the process. He said, “Thanks, Dad,” and that was that. On one hand, I’m proud that I created the open environment I always wanted growing up. On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder if people around me would think it crossed a boundary.
My parents never taught me personal things like this or even “the talk”. I just used the internet. However, if I were to have kids then I would probably be more open
I just did it for the first time and I’m in my mid twenties. Dad didn’t show me how to shave shit.
To be fair, I don’t think you’re supposed to shave shit.
It’s your job as a parent to teach your kiddos these sorts of things. It might feel uncomfortable, but it is part of the deal. It’s your job to teach him all of these personal hygiene issues. I taught both of my children (boy, girl) these things. For some general info I had to do a lot of research on boy things, as I don’t have those parts. But I did it and we’re fine. This doesn’t just apply to hygiene but all those life skills we aren’t just born with.
Looking forward to 2078 when we’ll be forced to show our kids how to copulate for procreation and what to use the tools of procreation for personal and group recreation.
Anyway kids, you then grab it and you do this back and forth motion on it. Yes billy, just like the jiggler dumbbell commercial!
I wasn’t born in a hospital and never admitted, thus untrimmed. My Dad never had the talk with me. No one told me I had to pull my foreskin back and wash the smegma off. It wasn’t until someone dumped me because they kept getting infections after we fucked, I learned the hard way.
If the boy needs help, help. That said, get him one of those gold mustache trimmers that cost $15. No shave irritation.
They don’t half nip your plums though
It’s only weird if you make it weird.
While you’re at it, teach him how condoms work.
Of course not. Who else is he supposed to ask and who else is supposed to show him?
You need to tell them even if they dont adk
I hope you warned him about how much worse razorburn/itchiness is for that area.
Fatherhood has no expiry date. If your son came to you asking for help, don’t overthink. Do the right thing and help him out, regardless of what he wants to shave.
If your son came to you asking for help, don’t overthink. Do the right thing and help him out, regardless of what he wants to shave.
This should be stitched into a throw pillow. The first sentence on one side, the second sentence on the other side.
It could work for so many occasions.
If you had any idea the kind of info that mothers and daughters have to talk about, you wouldn’t worry about helping your son trim the verge :D
Seriously. “Excuse me, Mom. You put what into where?!”
It’s not!
Anyone that feels like it crossed a boundary is themselves a victim of the exact same mentality you are trying (and achieving to) overcome.
Pragmatically you can’t really teach your son how to shave his nethers until he’s growing there, so any hesitation around age boundaries really don’t make sense in this case.
On top of that the request was initially from your son, not initiated by you, even if you took it a step farther to offer a demo. He wanted help from a male role model in personal grooming, and you helped.
This kind of thing can be so hard for men. As a society we talk about barriers between fathers and sons and it should be celebrated when we can overcome them to help young men navigate adolescence in healthy ways while feeling like they have support.
Your mental misgivings about what people might think are echoes of your own upbringing. You don’t have to tell people anyways, it’s between you and your son, if you have concerns about what people might think. Honestly some would think it crossed a line, but it didn’t, and you know better than anyone that it was healthy and innocent. So if you want to you can keep it to yourself, but personally I wouldn’t hide it. Not saying to bring it up randomly unprompted, but imo it should be something that you shouldn’t worry about discussing in the correct contexts BECAUSE we need more people to vocalize and hear that it’s ok, to continue breaking down those barriers. Caveat that with all recognition of respect for your son’s privacy, which again falls back on what I mentioned about context.
Bravo, sir.
You just have to ask yourself “If it was a daughter asking her mother for personal grooming advice, would things seem different?” and if the answer is ‘yes’ then it’s easy to recognise there might be a double standard there in society which maybe shouldn’t exist.
That’s a nice test, it is indeed some odd imbalance that it seems to be normalized that women being more “close” and open among each other in various kinds of ways is considered normal, while in men it is raising eyebrows.
As if any form of “closeness” is branded as feminine and men who are acting in similar ways are considered to be either gay or perverted.
The toxic emotionless, distanced sociopathic alpha male stereotype somehow still shaping our feelings about “masculinity” on a deep level, even if we consider ourselves to be progressive. And of course we see our roles of being a father or a husband through that distorted lens of unwritten expectations deep in our subconscious.
He wants to shave his pubes? You should teach him before someone else does. Also teach him how to don a condom and what can happen if he doesn’t.
While you’re at it and if you didn’t already PLEASE teach him how to exfoliate his skin. I felt so gross that I went YEARS not doing properly it because my parents were kinda… iffy on some things.
Americans are so prude. lol.
We really are. Those damn Puritans!
This reminds me of an event my mom likes to recount: We moved to Germany when I was a kid. We went to a beach where other kids were running around naked. I looked around and immediately took my clothes off and ran across the beach.
My god, that sounds freeing.
