My ex “K” just broke up with me. She said she would like to still be friends, though, and since the breakup was friendly, I gladly said I was fine with that.
I keep in touch with 2 here and there - we don’t really talk much, but maybe a couple times a year at most. On good terms with both, but just living our own lives.
The other two I haven’t said a word to in years. One I’ve completely cut contact with, along with her entire circle I used to be friends with, once I snapped out of it and realized I’d just been taken advantage of and the whole group was toxic. Shitshow and a half, and also a big part of why I stepped away from a specific game’s community that we met through.
The last one I don’t like to dwell on too much, because in this case I know I was the abusive asshole - I’ve grown and changed since then, and there’s no point opening old wounds by reaching out. I hope they’re doing well these days and have processed and healed from the damage I know I caused.
One easy way to avoid this predicament is moving across the ocean. You never have to particular relatives either. Move across the ocean immediately. Never turn back
It is so great absolutely NEVER running into someone from high school.
Lmao my mom was just asking me abt people from kindergarten who I was never even friends with they’ll still try to reel you in. Crazy people shit
We still talk occasionally. Sometimes I think he thinks we should hook up. Sometimes I think we should hook up. But then I remember how stinky he was and gag a little bit and move on again.
Apparently one time, a guy saw us together in his apartment hallway just walking to the elevator, and later told my ex that we had a visible aura. Which is cool, I guess. But it might have just been a stink cloud from my ex.
Very rarely. Sometimes there’s the occasional hookup involved.
One I would describe as more of an acquaintance. We have a really good mutual friend, but we pretty much only hang out in group settings. We get along well, but there’s not much binding us together.
Another is actually more like a brother at this point. We tried to be friends initially after the breakup, but we were both pretty immature and shitty about it at the time. I ended up cutting off contact and then reached out several months later after emotions had cooled down. We’re not as close as we used to be, but we care a lot about each other, and I do think he’ll always be like family to me.
I have had three serious relationships and I have lost contact with all of them.
None of the break ups were all that messy. In two of them we just grew bored of each other and the third one ended because I moved.
I never bothered to keep in touch with any of them or reach out to any of them. When it is over it is over.
I don’t see how I could downgrade the relationship to a “friends” level.
No
You both need a time off, stop or make interactions really “rational and controlled”. It takes time to shift to different dynamic between you two.
Once you both (or at least one of you) get new partners, things will be more promising for a genuine friendship.
Otherwise, lingering feelings or “emotionally weak” days seriously risk ruining the relationship and make things permanently awkward.
source: my own experience. I am best friends with my ex. And lived the process myself.
No, but I wouldn’t be opposed with any of them but one. That one can go fuck herself.
Are you still friends with any of your axes
FTFY and yes
Some yes, some no. For those I do stay friends with, I still take a break and go low/no contact with them for a while before resuming friendship. I need it to draw a line, so to speak, between the old relationship and friendship.
I’ve also had guys want to “remain friends” while they really meant hookup buddy. A break helps suss out those who are disingenuous with their stated intentions.
I still talk to my ex-wife since we had kids together. They are adults now so it’s a lot less that we talk but still amicable.
Yeah, just one. He left me for religious reasons (we’re both men). Took me a long time to actually get over him, but I moved on and married and such. The three of us hang out sometimes.
I do kinda wish I could convince him to be a little less religiously wacky. Oh well.
I know so many people in the community in relationships with religious wackos. What’s going on there?
I cannot speak for others. My ex was not religious when I met him. I feel like my experience isn’t similar to what you’ve encountered.
Yeah, I’m friends with 2, we were in a poly relationship and I quit. My mentall health was awful which was affecting my relationships with them, so I distanced away for like 2 years. Now we speak regularly, share some news and stories, they even wanna invite me to their wedding, I’m so happy for them🥹
Yes. Most of my exes are people who I’d want to be friends with. I’m not friends with all of them of course, but I’m still friends with 3 of them. You take some time to heal, even if you part on good terms, and be respectful and yeah, you can hang out and genuinely be happy for them and they happy for you. One even came to my wedding (luckily my wife is not at all the jealous type).
