And does the SF ever go away?

  • andyburke@fedia.io
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    17 hours ago

    This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that … if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.

    You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.

    • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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      17 hours ago

      Without sexual release we’re a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that’s how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        1 hour ago

        I’m a man so maybe it’s different but having tried both, that certainly isn’t the case for me. Without sexual release I just want to cum. It doesn’t inspire me to do anything else that won’t move me towards that goal. Maybe if masturbation were impossible it would be a different story but as it stands the only purpose being frustrated serves is to distract me from non-sexual tasks. Being lonely on the other hand does inspire me to go out and do things and maintain relationships but it’s not for sex. If I’m frustrated in that regard I’d rather just stay home and jerk off. That’s a sure thing rather than the incredibly low chance I’ll meet someone that wants to fuck me right away.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        I am older, and have not found any of that to be true. As a lady, more makes more; more sex makes sex feel better and it’s easier to get off, and sexual frustration does not make me creative at all, just distracted and frustrated.

        There is also physical benefit to sex for older women, I don’t know if it’s the same for younger, but certainly after menopause sex prevents vaginal atrophy and prolapse of internal organs, it’s sort of a use it or lose it situation. Penetration and orgasms are good for muscle tone, apparently. Beyond the obvious benefits of pleasure and relationship building.

      • andyburke@fedia.io
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        17 hours ago

        What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.

        Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?

        This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.

        • JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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          16 hours ago

          It’s my own subjective experience. Masturbating is effortless immediate gratification that turns me into a reclusive hermit.

          But every time I abstain for a month or so, I become a real person who participates in life & wants to connect with people. *

          The difference is undeniable.

          I’m not telling you what to do and I’m not telling anyone else in the world what I think they should do. I’m telling you my own subjective experience and my own choice.

          *Yesterday I had enough courage to approach a super hot guy doing pushups on the beach 🥰 I had seen him there before doing yoga in the same place a couple weeks earlier & fell instantly in love because I’m a yoga girl too so when I saw him again yesterday my inner fires were finally burning at normal level, no shyness or low self-esteem yesterday for a change 😄 We chit-chatted, he likes me 💕

          • andyburke@fedia.io
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            16 hours ago

            I think maybe you should think through why you feel that way, though. Surely you could decide to go out and be social because you would like to make new friends or be entertained. You’re here, writing out your thoughts, so you’re able to reflect and decide on actions.