I’m at a shitty point in my life where I’m just close enough to rock bottom to smell it but far enough that I still have something to lose.
One thing I still have control over is what I’m going to have for lunch. I decided on chicken legs. I’m going to smoke them with Applewood and score the legs so they can hold bbq sauce. I’m going to the store soon but don’t have a favorite sauce, and I’m looking for recommendations. What bbq sauce is best to cook onto the chicken legs?
Kikkoman makes a teriyaki sauce with garlic and green onions and it is my new favorite sauce after Aldi’s parmesan garlic. If you’re dead set on bbq, you can’t go wrong with a sweet Baby Ray sauce.
Are you me?
The green onion teriyaki sauce is fantastic. I mix it into ground turkey and make burgers on the grill.
On the sauce tip we’ve gravitated to SBR. It’s dark and smokey like bulls eye but sweeter.
For chicken I really like grill mates sweet and smokey rub
Aw man, i wish i would’ve seen this earlier, I’m not happy with how the chicken came out. I think Teriyaki might’ve been the way to go. Something sweet when I’m feeling bitter would’ve been good
Bro this sauce is something to everyday carry. I could eat anything with it!
Not sure if anyone cares to know but i decided to go with stubbs bbq sauce. First i put on a dry rub of Pappys dry rub and cooked to 160 internal. Then i followed up with stubbs bbq sauce and finished at 170 degrees internal.
I didn’t get down with the apple jim beam so i decided to do shots of Makers Mark cask bourbon. Might have a white claw and long Island iced tea later. Catch me on my plummet to rock bottom over on !cocktails.lemmyworld or occasionally! Cocktail.MidwestSocial
Unfortunately I think I might just have to go back to therapy because even bbqing doesn’t cheer me up anymore.
Edit: the chicken has clashing flavors only fixed by getting blind drunk. Don’t mix Pappys dry rub and stubbs bbq suace.
Stubbs is the shiiiiit, good choice. Therapy is also a good choice, everybody should go. It always helps, even if you don’t think you need it.
You may think no one cares but you’d be surprised how many people are happy about this update.
Also never really heard of stubbs before 0_0
As far as i can tell its just a generic sweet bbq sauce.
Well hope it was still really good!
Came here to say to go with Stubb’s, but the jalapeno one. It’s SOOO good!! Dude. So good…
Also, therapy is amazing, and you should totally return. It’s a step to you getting better. Feeling this way sucks balls, but the world isn’t as bad as it seems, and sometimes, it takes a therapist to help you see that. If doing the things you love doesn’t cheer you up, even a bit, you may benefit from a psychiatrist that can prescribe an antidepressant and work with you on your recovery. Saved my best friend’s life. Like everything, there are bad ones and good ones and great ones (psychiatrists and antidepressants), but keep fighting so you can find one that will help you. Good luck, my dude. Hang in there, and know that an internet stranger is rooting hard for you!
Thanks homie. I actually quit therapy the last time because my issues were caused by me being broke, alone, and working long hours. My therapist said that my money would be better put towards my bills than therapy. That no amount of coping skills would make me not poor and alone.
Well I got a better job, made friends, and and I’m lightyears ahead of where I used to be, but still i find myself thinking about ending it. Personally I think my past depression kinda fried my brain and I’m permanently broken and probably need meds to be halfass happy.
I don’t have enough enough money to move into my own place, and even though that’s my goal, that’s what I’d define as success, I’m not sure that’d make me happy. I know myself and I know if i lived by myself I’d be lonely and probably overdependant on my work friends. Also I’ve been trying to date but only halfass sending likes on the apps and just a little bit of flirting with my coworkers. In fact there’s this one coworker I have that’s i am just illogically attracted to. Only problem is she’s out of my league in looks, economical standing, has degrees and she’s also older. She’s so different from me though, in almost every way. I thought i leaned right politically but jeez she really showed me what it’s like to be conservative in Asia.
Idk i think that’s just the bourbon talking though. I think about her more than i should, that’s for sure. I’d give her everything if she asked even though I know it’d be wrong.
Anyway I’m going to try to sign up for BetterHelp. Honestly I’ll have to lie because they reject certain people but i just can’t afford anything else rn.
I appreciate you friend. Hope to see you around lemmy soon on a more happy post.
I don’t have enough enough money to move into my own place, and even though that’s my goal, that’s what I’d define as success, I’m not sure that’d make me happy
It wont. You’d be lonely then.
That said. What keeps you centered? What keeps you from burning out?
just a little bit of flirting with my coworkers
Dont do that. Its messy. Dont shit where you eat or put off the vibes. You gotta separate it out.
I’ll asl again, What keeps you centered? What keeps you from burning out?
gonna be honest. Sounds like a shit therapist anyway. Theres tons of em, high on education low on experience or worse, more fucked up and got into it trying to fix themselves. Id bet my left nut betterhelp is chock full of em too, but it wont hurt to look, id still say keep it local if you can. If you are at that point, keep looking though. A decent one that clicks can do wonders.
Personally, i find what helps me is
-
A good sleep routine. Not drunk passed out good sleep, but solid 8 hours. I take some meds that help that arent habit forming and can be stopped at any time.
-
Exercise. Even just walking and podcasts. It helps clear your mind and the heartrate.
-
Some un-work-related hobby that I can get frustration out with. You dont even have to be good. Musical instruments, working on shit/fixing shit, exploring/hiking etc etc. Basically anything and it can always shift around. Just something to do in downtime that engages that part of your brain.
NGL, 2 and 3 can be hard. I often have to push through the “fuck this, whats the point” or “dont wanna be up doing this shit right now” parts at the beginning, but 9/10 its worth it. Once i stopped chasing women and just focused on 3 things start coming naturally. You wont even need to “flirt” its where the “just be yourself” comes from.
And before you say “ya ya, you dont know me”. I went from living in my car in college/young adult hood to making solid money with a family. Its doable. The depression never goes away, its like addiction. But you gotta learn how to deal with it and keep it in check. A good therapist can help you find that. If they are just driving you to meds or something, ditch them unless you are like full on legit bi-polar or something (then you gotta be on meds, it is what it is)
I think that’s my problem. I’m kinda stuck in a loop of work,sleep,work,sleep. I try to capitalize on my weekends as much as possible but its just so difficult. I work graveyard and on my first day off i have to work that morning. I try to stay up as late as possible but usually I fall asleep around 1500 or so. When I feel like eating a bullet ill head up the mountains and go target shooting. Maybe that sounds counterintuitive but it’s a hobby I’ve had as long as i can remember. I can’t really do that rn though because my rifle is broken and I need a gunsmith to fix it. I’d have taken it in but for some reason thinking about it makes me feel really anxious. I can’t really think of any reason why either besides the fact that I’ve just never used gunsmithing services before.
During the workweek I don’t ever have more than one drink because it makes what little sleep I get to be not that restful.
You’re right about flirting with coworkers. Fortunately I don’t think I’ve done it so much that it’s begun to define me. There’s this one woman who works with me and she’s just so great. I want to ask her out but we have different days off and the nice restaurants I’d take her don’t open until mid day- when we have to sleep for work.
I’m not sure if you ever saw the r/RelationshipAdvice subreddit but one the questions asked on almost every thread is “What value do you bring to a relationship?” And I’ve never been able to satisfactorily answer that question. I mean I’m just an average guy. I can’t offer much beyond companionship and trivia about dinosaurs. Even my hobbies aren’t relatable for most women. Still I know a wife isn’t going to just fall in my lap, it’s one of those things you have to work towards.
Anyway I appreciate your reply friend. Lots of sound advice from you.
-
One thing I learned, is that, most of the time, someone is only out of your league if you believe they are. I don’t know you (beyond our little conversation here) or her (at all), but it sounds like you have a lot to offer. And, no, not giving her everything, but that part shows me that you’re emotionally available, or, at the very least, willing to be. Although, I don’t know if I would recommend dating or pursuing a coworker, as it can lead to some very unpleasant situations.
Another thing I’ve learned, happiness and success are not actually linked to one another. I know several well-off to bumtasticlly rich people who, I think, everyone would categorize as super successful, and they are some of the most unhappy people. I also know rich people who are happy, and poor people who are happy, and poor people who are unhappy. My point is that money and success won’t make you happy.
Money makes life easier sometimes, but good friends (emphasis on the good), I think, add more happiness than a ton of money.
I think the BetterHelp thing is a wonderful place to start, even if you have to bend the truth a bit to get in. You deserve happiness.
Believe in yourself, and don’t be afraid to be happy–that’s one of the hardest things to do after a stint (no matter how long or short) of depression. Tell yourself every single day that you deserve to be happy and you are going to be happy today. Literally, write it on a stickynote on the mirror “I deserve to be happy, and I will be happy today” and read it out loud (even as a whisper) every morning. Maybe add a phone reminder to remind you of this fact throughout the day.
I feel like I just don’t know how to impress her. Part of me says I shouldn’t have to try so hard that I’m not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.
I think you’re right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.
As far as it being a bad idea to date a coworker- i know it’s not great but I don’t think she’s going to work at my job for much longer. Still I’m aware the consequences of dating a coworker is immediate site reassignment and likely a pay cut. Love isn’t free though.
Part of me says I shouldn’t have to try so hard that I’m not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.
Most women dont want to be impressed and the ones that do arent worth it. What many that are worth the time want is just to be treated like a person, respected for what they can do and bring to the table and what their strengths are. Just be yourself, and honest (well maybe not too honest) but professional. If it happens it happens, dont force it. But personally, she likely has boundaries with with work. Dudes can often have flings with co-workers but if a woman does it, its becomes a stigma and can affect their career in a big way. Its like the saying “you fuck one goat and you are a goat fucker for life”. So you gotta respect that and dont shit where you eat and if you do, never tell a goddam soul but she would need to make the first pass in my book.
I think you’re right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.
From experience. Hes right. See my other comment.
Also, wast this thread about Sweet Baby Rays?
Yeah this thread was about bbq sauce in general. I don’t really like sweet baby rays. When i was a kid my wicked step mom made shredded chicken and drowned it in sweet baby rays bbq sauce. I had to eat a bowl full of it. It was so disgusting that it ruined the whole brand for me even 10 years later.
Great choice. I was going to recommend Sweet Baby Ray’s, but Stubbs is pretty similar.
I’d skip the sauce. Legs are, to me, too fatty. They do much better with a. Rub and keeps the skin nice and tasty.
I scored the legs down to the bone hoping to get some crispy corners and a place to hold some sauce. It had mixed results. I was 6 drinks in by the time the chicken was ready so I wasn’t able to really appreciate my own culinary genius.
Seems like you could use a kick start for something different. Let me suggest Alabama White Sauce. Tangy, a little heat, and some lip sweat.
Alabama White BBQ Sauce: 1 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon prepared horseradish
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Salt
this looks delicious
I’ve never heard of this, but now I want to try it on the spatchcocked chicken I’m grilling tonight. How important is the horseradish, and can it be substituted since it’s the only thing I don’t normally buy?
It would take away a lot of the zing… But it’s cooking, you do you!
Ground white pepper should do the trick if you have some. It’s 99% heat and 1% pepper flavor so it would be a good stand in for horseradish. My brain first went to ground ginger but it won’t really be a good sub for horseradish. Though it may taste good given the other ingredients. If you don’t have white pepper, I’d just up the cayenne. It doesn’t have that nostril burning quality to it but it’ll be spicy nonetheless
Took your advice, with a twist…replaced the horseradish with half a teaspoon of white pepper and half a teaspoon of hot mustard powder to try to give it a different spiciness to it. The initial mix is creamy and tangy, but I’m sure it’ll defuse nicely once it has a chance to sit. Can’t wait to get this on the grill…
I just cannot take part in any mustard based “bbq” sauce.
Alabama white sauce is hardly “mustard based.” One teaspoon per cup of mayo is nothing; you’d barely taste it. It’s Carolina-style sauce you have an irrational hatred for, not Alabama-style.
This goes great with sister fucking.
How do you know this?
It’s just Alabama things.
I always end up going back to Sweet Baby Ray’s. Every once in awhile I’ll try something fancier but I always end up going back.
Heres my trick. I use a braising brush and brush it on the chicken (or ribs, or turkey) BEFORE i cook it.
The brown sugar one especially. Ill also add a little of my own seasoning if i want.
Just a thin coat makes a glaze. Its all you need. Cook and eat.
SBR seems to be a very good all around sauce universally available. A lot of the others mentioned seems to be a specialty or regional sauce.
What a coincidence, today I stumbled upon just the right book for situations like this.
I think tomorrow might be the fried noodles one. I already have a good spicy sweet and sour sauce, and I’ll pair it with some fried chicken thighs if I’m not too drunk to drive to the store tomorrow.
Thanks friend, i think this is a good cookbook. I appreciate it
I’m wheezing at the amount of existential dread in your question about BBQ sauces. Sorry man, life may be shitty right now but at least you’ve got a good sense of humor.
Im drowning and bbq sauce is my life raft
Godspeed! And may the the bbq sauce life raft carry you safely across these treacherous waters.
I really like Stubbs Sweet Heat (“Ladies and Gentlemen I’m a Cook”)
Stubbs is decent sauce. Haven’t tried this one, but it’s likely solid.
Original Stubb’s is good too. Bit more vinegary.
You said you feel down? Then toss the BBQ sauce, use whiskey. Just whiskey. Toss the chicken as well, tastes like crap with whiskey.
But don’t forget to smoke the whiskey with the apple wood first.
We do have some culture here
Too much work, I just bought some smoked bourbon
Anyone want a pour of some Balcones Brimstone?
The apple jim beam wasn’t great, switched to makers mark and that got my head spinning and it makes me feel, different, not happy, but almost there, almost happy. There’s this girl at work that i just think is the best think since sliced bread and i can’t stop thinking about her since I started drinking. I think my subconscious must like her more than my logical brain.
Funny story, she actually suggested that I start drinking whiskey because its a mens drink as opposed to beer or cocktails. I like cocktails though, it’s a cathartic ritual i do to make a drink nearly every day. Even though that’s what I like, here i am sipping my whiskey just because of what she said. Surely that means something right? Maybe I’m one of those people with a martyr complex. Or maybe I’m just a softey for pretty girls.
Anyway irregardless of all that I hear the bald eagles overhead when i sip this makers mark bourbon. I drink American whiskey because I’m a proud American who drinks American booze.
How’s that balcones?
Don’t change for people. Do the stuff you like to do, and anyone that has a problem with it probably isn’t the type of person you want to be spending time with anyway.
And the Brimstone is an acquired taste. It’s almost offensively smokey, but I like it. Their Baby Blue is far more palatable (and also delicious).
Funny story i picked up a bottle of jim beam apple and am smoking my chicken with Applewood. Now ive got the rest of the bottle to keep me company until the end of the day.
Sweet Baby Ray’s. Can’t ever go wrong with Sweet Baby Ray’s.
SBR’s hasn’t been the same since they swapped out the cane sugar for HFCS.
Yes. I personally love Sweet Baby Ray’s with some Old Bay seasoning sprinkled on as well.
It’s less about what sauce you pick and more about making sure to finish them on the grill on high heat so that sauce caramelizes and chars. That’s where the flavor lives.
Maybe thats where i went wrong. Next time I’ll crank up the heat.
Everybody’s suggesting some great bbq sauce, I say come join us on the rock bottom!
Trust me friend, it’s in my nature to to fuck up. I’ll be at the bottom soon enough. And once I hit rock bottom I’ll take the cowards way.
Seems like nothing I do is right. Like everything I do is detrimental.
For example I like to speed. I love to hear the roar of my engine on an open road. But also getting a speeding ticket sucks ass. I have a few and they stress me out so bad i struggle to sleep so I’m dog tired at work. I work graveyard so my boss expects me to fall asleep so he can write me up and fite me for cause so he can hire one of his friends and not have to pay me unemployment bc then he’d get in trouble with his boss.
I also like to cook but I live with my parents and they don’t like my cooking. Kills my self esteem because I don’t actually know if i cook well. I bbq once a week but do other things sporadically. From chicken parm to Chilaquiles. Today i spend $50 on chicken alone, somewhere around 15 lbs and they all went out to lunch today. Breaks my heart truly.
What really sucks is that i finally have some money in my pocket and I finally have some friends in my life, but i don’t feel any different. It’s like having the carpet pulled out from under your feet. I thought things would be different. I guess the only difference i was destined to make was about bbq sauce. Lol what a joke
Honestly, I feel for you. I’m not gonna get into specifics here but there’s better ways. I’ve been known to be somewhat self destructive to put it mildly. I’m probably not gonna be able to tell you something that would make a difference for you, even if we were best friends. You’re not alone man and probably don’t fuck up as much as you think.
Too bad about the chicken, fuck em. Family can be poison, fuck em.
Use that money to make your life better.
Something something insert life changing fantastic advice here.
Dont get we wrong i love my family, but I think we’d all be happier if I lived a couple hours away from them. Close enough to visit on holidays but far enough that they’re outta sight and outta mind
Stubb’s is always my go-to for chicken. It’s usually a crowd pleaser when I bring it to cookouts
Brine them in Vicker’s sauce for 24 hours, place in a bowl or ziplock bag and toss in a heavy dark sauce like Stubb’s, Corky’s, or Jack Daniels. Smoke and caramelize the bbq sauce. Then, optionally, give a thin coat of BBQ sauce again for messy wings.
Stubb’s original is my favorite.
My favorite bbq sauce is this one: https://www.joeskc.com/collections/sauces-and-rubs/products/joes-bbq-sauce
It won’t get there in time but man, what a treat. Think of it for next time! I hope things start to look up for you soon, enjoy your bbq! I’ll also be smoking some chicken today, I’m going to be cooking this for the first time so I hope it tastes good: https://howtobbqright.com/2020/02/13/voodoo-wings/
Looks great friend. I definitely want to step up my bbq game and i love spicy food. Today i just just went with simple and easy
Hell yeah man, simple and easy is so much better than doing nothing and eating bland fast food! Proud of you!
Maull’s classic, a St. Louis BBQ tradition.
Goes great on alligator doesn’t it?
