I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    I mean giving them an Amazon gift card doesn’t exactly say “I know you’re going to buy a sex toy with this” especially if you’re not outright saying that to them, but giving them the option to spend some money on that is a lot better than the alternatives.

    • pete_the_cat@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I see what you’re saying, but if you randomly come out and say “Here, I got you an Amazon gift card out of the blue, buy whatever you want” after they did something like this they’re going to know whats up. Also, I’m pretty sure most dads would rather not have that thought in their mind when they see an Amazon box addressed to their daughter and she runs to her room to open it up. I’m 38 and my dad is your typical “Dirty Old Man” that started making sexual comments about women around me when I was like 13, but I don’t think I ever felt comfortable talking about anything like this around him until I was like 19 or 20.

      • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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        3 months ago

        That’s true, but it would still be awkward either way if they did something like this, and I would think that a gift card is still probably better than the alternative of them continuing to use produce for this or a worse alternative.