Okay, in certain cases this has an obvious answer. Former dog lover, one bit me, now I would rather they be happy and healthy far away from me. Direct bad experiences can ruin things for you.
But I’m wondering. I’ve never been hurt by a spider but I’m still scared of them. Meanwhile, other people absolutely love this type of critter. I like !snakes@lemmy.world. Why do I see them as cute; why am I not afraid? Danger does not really explain it, because both animals have species that can hurt people and that are harmless. There are probably folks who love mosquitoes and don’t like cats. Aside from “this animal has personally hurt me or someone I know before,” I wonder what determines what causes some animals to fall in some people’s “good” bucket and others in their “bad.” Why some people like what others do not and vice versa. (Yes, personal preference, but I’m curious as to the reason behind these preferences.)
I’m so glad you like !snakes@lemmy.world.
We have different thoughts and memories with different animals. We end up with them in different ways. Sometimes we hear what people say and they can become our own thoughts. Sometimes we sit and think new thoughts. Other times we live life and it becomes our own emotions.
Sometimes the memories take charge of the ship and we’re in for the ride. Sometimes our thoughts take charge of the ship and we’re in for the ride.
Sometimes this happens without us noticing. Our memories and thoughts assemble underground and are steering the ship without us fully understanding why the ship is going in the wrong direction. When this happens, we haven’t explored and brought into consciousness our thoughts and emotions.
We can bring those thoughts and emotions to consciousness. Mindfulness can help us observe, accept, and choose, regardless of what our emotions or thoughts say or do. Certain therapies, like Coherence Therapy, emphasize digging our thoughts and emotions so that we can transform them. Other therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy seek to continuously build our capacity to observe, accept, and choose.
If I had to choose one book to recommend, maybe check out How Emotions are Made, by Lisa Feldman Barret. Read it and you’ll have clear answers to your questions and more.