Feel free to fire up the torches and start handing out the pitchforks, because I’m not playing by the rules.
It doesn’t just look like it will suck, it looks like a ‘so bad it is bad’ type of movie, an overbudgeted ‘this is what is wrong with movies these days’ sort of unmitigated hot wet trash from a dumpster fire in the bad part of town.
It isn’t well written.
It isn’t well acted.
I honestly can’t even promise a good time.
These are the thoughts that went through my mind when I read about it before watching: “This is going to be awful and a waste of my time. These actor names kinda look familiar but I don’t know who any of these people are. Is Rihanna her first name or last name? Isn’t she just a singer. It better not have that stupid umbrella song. Wait, Liam Neeson is in this? Is he doing okay? Did he lose a bet? Does he need money? I bet that evil Jar’jar forced him to to do this. Wait, running time over 2 hours?! How is that even… the board never took more than like 15 minutes… except cheaters moving their… fuck me, I already need a drink.”
Go into the movie with that mindset. Be angry at it before it starts.
Battleship.
Yeah, the movie based off the board(?) game.
Feel free to fire up the torches and start handing out the pitchforks, because I’m not playing by the rules.
It doesn’t just look like it will suck, it looks like a ‘so bad it is bad’ type of movie, an overbudgeted ‘this is what is wrong with movies these days’ sort of unmitigated hot wet trash from a dumpster fire in the bad part of town.
It isn’t well written.
It isn’t well acted.
I honestly can’t even promise a good time.
These are the thoughts that went through my mind when I read about it before watching: “This is going to be awful and a waste of my time. These actor names kinda look familiar but I don’t know who any of these people are. Is Rihanna her first name or last name? Isn’t she just a singer. It better not have that stupid umbrella song. Wait, Liam Neeson is in this? Is he doing okay? Did he lose a bet? Does he need money? I bet that evil Jar’jar forced him to to do this. Wait, running time over 2 hours?! How is that even… the board never took more than like 15 minutes… except cheaters moving their… fuck me, I already need a drink.”
Go into the movie with that mindset. Be angry at it before it starts.
I enjoyed it with a mindset of “This is an unofficial Crysis 1 (PC Game) movie adaption without the power-suit”.
I actually thought adding the alien element probably saved it from being a boring movie about ship combat.
I actually liked Rhianna in that film