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It really depends. Apologies can be a tricky business, but tossing them out can help bring the temperature down to move forward. Sometimes you have to read between the lines to determine whether it’s useful or not, or what exactly they want an apology for (it’s not always what you’d think at first).

Looking at your example in the end, I’d take the following tack - “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. When I’m here, I try to stay really focused on what I need to do. If I’m not super responsive or don’t notice you right away, it’s because I’m concentrating on something else. It doesn’t mean that I am deliberately ignoring you, or think badly of you. [If you can muster it/can honestly say something nice about them, do it. It helps. Has to be genuine though.] I hope you understand.”

Might calm things down, might not. But I’ve had folks respond to this approach before (when they just want to feel acknowledged, which is where most ‘y u ignoring me’ reactions come from).

Nope, she tunes out when I start talking about federated services. Just not something that captures her interest/she gives any real thought about.

Ngl an art installation at BM that is literally a pillar of salt would be funny as shit.

It’s a question that isn’t relevant to OPs ask here. Do you have a useful book suggestion that presents the topic of boundaries and maintaining them in a secular way? Whether the author believes in a deity or not?

I have not read them myself, but Nedra Glover Tawaab’s books come highly recommended: Set Boundaries, Find Peace + the accompanying workbook, and Drama Free (mentioned here already).

I did a Google Books search of Set Boundaries and only got one hit for the word ‘god’, very near the end in what looks like the “Commonly Asked Questions” section. Between that and what I see in the previews (looks quite promising), recommend checking this out to see if it’s useful for you.

C’mon Flax, we get it, you’re a Christian. OP’s just looking for a secular self-help/psychology book. Do you have a recommendation or not?

It is enforced, by varying degrees, by the censure or support of other humans, as well as one’s own conscience.

The moral code you follow may have been authored by a creator figure. It may not have. Frankly, it’s beside the point. In practice, Christian morality is enforced by support or censure of the church and its teachings. It takes as its bedrock a shared conception of humanity as the Created. An atheist’s or humanist’s morality is similarly enforced by support or censure of their human community, though with a different bedrock (a belief in the dignity and capacities of humanity, for instance, either absent of or separate from a deity).

One does not need to be a Christian to act morally. It does mean certain lines may be drawn in areas different than a Christian, but I would say that that simply makes the individual a non-Christian where those lines do not otherwise impede on, say, humanity’s inherent dignity.

I want to say I write this with full respect for your beliefs in your Creator. I believe tolerance for the beliefs of others, where they do not impede on those who do not share those beliefs to live their lives freely, is important. I will add that if OP was being truthful, and actually is a Christian struggling with soliciting sex workers, your suggestion to seek out the Church is a valid one. If nothing else, it places him among humans that share the values he seeks to embody, and may help him on the path he wishes to walk.

For my part, I see no issue so long as both parties enter these arrangements with no coercion or out of compulsion, with the issue here being (absent the Christian context, irrelevant for me but not necessarily you or OP) the compulsion. If it feels bad, and it serves no greater aim, don’t do it, figure out why you’re doing it, and do things more aligned with your morals and ideals - that’s my take.

Because morality exists independently of any deity figure. It is ultimately a set of ideas about what constitutes good conduct between humans and the environment around them.

The amount of radio play they got, for me. I was a fan of How You Remind Me when it came out, and they do have a handful of listenable songs, but the sheer amount of repetition changed things from “they’re ok” to “omg not again, fuck these guys”.

I feel similar, but to a lesser degree, about Coldplay.

Count from 1 to 10, then 10 to 1. With each number, relax your body a little more. When the mind strays, bring it back to counting. Repeat until unconscious.

If that isn’t working at all, get up, go to another room, play soft music at low volume on headphones, and depending on the circumstances read a book, jot stuff down, or just contemplate stuff. Chill until sleepy, then either go back to bed or just curl up where you are.

Ngl this was my first thought. Or dig out a pair of those ol’ soap shoes and do a sick grind (practice first with both of these).

Every serious bullying incident I ran into growing up ended when a kid got popped in the mouth. Every unserious bullying incident made no impact when I knew if it got serious, I could pop them in the mouth and likely come out on top.

I’ve met way too many adults with personality issues that were a product of adults telling child them “physical violence is always wrong, just tell an adult, be the bigger person” etc. It always needs to be taught as a last resort, and it needs to be understood that even justified violence comes with consequences and other tools must be used first, but when you’ve done everything you’re supposed to and no one is helping to the resolve the problem, sometimes you have to do it yourself.

It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t ideal, but it’s the way it is.

Worst I hurt myself: Older, much larger cousin broke my leg by landing on it in a bouncy castle.

Injury that pissed me off the most: At 13, I loved jiujitsu and rock climbing above all else. At my last jiujitsu class before going to California to, among other things, go bouldering in Joshua Tree, I sliced my heel badly on the metal bottom of the dojo door that had about an inch and a half of clearance from the floor.

Shoes in general, let alone those super-tight climbing shoes, were out of the question for two weeks. I’m still mad. Of all the ways I could’ve got hurt, it was the fucking door on the way out that took me down.

Primarily the audience. The artist can approach a project with a certain set of ideas, precepts, and motivations, and attempt to communicate something, but the interpretations of the audience supercede that IMO.

That said, different levels of engagement inform different interpretations. For instance, there’re folks who watched Starship Troopers that didn’t understand it was satire until they listened to the director’s commentary. Knowing this does impact an audience’s interpretation when engaging with the work - all of a sudden, certain things lend themselves to closer consideration. But the audience still brings their own experiences, sociocultural context, and ideas to a work of art. Over time, it is the audience’s interpretations that carry on as people share that experience.

Ideally, a work stands on its own without reference to paratext/the creator’s claims. But those can play a part in informing your own interpretation.

Love trailers, fucking hate ads for cars and stupid bullshit played before or after trailers.

I’m sorry, what??? I’m just as perplexed as you are, where are you seeing this and can you drop a link?

There’s been more than a few times my kid has called me out by saying “Use your inside thoughts”.

Canada, various provinces - either weed whacker or whipper-snipper.

Scott calls it a trimmer sometimes, but Scott’s a dick and we hate him.

Edit: Fuck you too, Scott.

Fair enough - glad you’re trying something to address this lot! Believe it or not, did actually mean this as a ‘what if/what are the ramifications for orgs like this if that happened’, but probably best not to entertain that yourself at the moment.

As a total aside, good song to keep spirits up today might be The Last Saskatchewan Pirate by Captain Tractor - very last line before final chorus is relevant :)

Good luck with what you’re doing!