KingJalopy

Do you mean audibly gasping?

I’m American. I’ll always take the easy way.

Sounds expensive. Maybe I can just get a tan and get myself deported?

I have a case on my $79 Motorola lol. Even if I ever bought a $1000 phone (I wouldn’t) I would still put a case on it. Unless I trying to flex 💪🏼

Phones and computers are only limited by your ability to understand and use them. That said, the majority of people I know give me shit for my android while simultaneously asking me how I did a thing on my phone like change permission settings, or have YouTube with no ads without paying, or how I was able to send automated text messages at certain times. But it’s cool because their iPhone “just works”…

Yesterday at a meeting a coworker (a manager) said he didn’t have that particular app we were discussing so I sent him a link to download, he got frustrated and said, “it says I don’t have a compatible phone dude wtf?” I asked for his phone and he was trying to download an app from the Google play store… I didn’t realize he had an iPhone until then. I said that’s the android app store, and he was like dude I have an iPhone it should work. He truly did not understand why it wouldn’t work.

Long story short, it’ll be locked down. Because the majority of people have no idea how the magic box in their pocket works at all, as long as it “just works”

OMG first thing I thought was great, now I won’t get bacon

Too little too late. I don’t need to see any band, show, whatever that badly. Haven’t bought a ticket through them in many many years and I never will.

I know nothing of or even care about IT stuff but I fucking love this podcast.

Damn I live pretty close hope I can go check that out I bet it’s ridiculous.

Bigly if true

I bet the gerbil on the wheel in his head is exhausted. He should shove a couple more up his ass to help out.

Every time I get a haircut they’re like so what would you like. I always say, I’m not the one who has to see it so just make it reasonable for others I guess. I’m the same with clothes, who cares what anyone wears?? If people don’t like it like you said, that’s on them.

There are only 4 ways to communicate in a car what your intentions are to other drivers. Left blinker, right blinker, brake lights, and the finger. 5 if you count flashing brights but I’m convinced most people think it’s just a fuck you for having headlights that are too bright, which might be the case, but I’m usually telling you there a pig ahead.

They were basically asking for it… Like you can’t walk around dressed that way and acting that way and not expect someone to react the way you clearly wanted them to.

My dad used to beat the shit out of my mom and convince her it was her fault. Once she was gone he turned to me. By then I was almost grown and I beat the absolute fuck out of him. When he laid there asking why I did that I simply explained, “given the way you were acting I thought that’s what you wanted? Why would you make me do this if you didn’t want it?”

Fucking hate people like that dude.

I call dibs on green©

That’s why he’s “not” the president…

No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

Majority rule don’t work in mental institutions

Most people ask if it hurts when I write. Decades ago I decided to basically write upside-down. I turn the paper the opposite direction you’re saying then curl my hand essentially pulling the pen. I fill out door hangers for my job and I hold them upside-down on my leg and fill them out. Customers often ask how the hell I do it lol. I’m like, necessity my friend.

My father in law has guns from 1800s that still function. I’m not a gun person at all but I am into my father in law liking me because I love his daughter and she loves his will lol. We’ve gone to the range to shoot them and they’re being left to me eventually in almost certain. I appreciate that something that old is still kicking around and will be mine out of some sense of love or whatever but I’ll prolly just sell them and use the money for my daughter’s college or whatever but I guess the point of this useless paragraph is they can last many lifetimes if properly cared for. He’s not a big gun guy either but they were passed down to him and are “collectors items” I guess.