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Cake day: May 30th, 2024

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  • Consent is complicated, when you are taking about everyday people there are times the hospital will use legal tactics to force someone to get treatment, but that’s when it’s treatment or death and they are being stupid, I remember one article about a teenage girl being forced to do chemo and her response to it all afterwords was ‘‘well I was going to eventually get treated I just wanted time to think about it’’ which sounds like the only thing a judge would need to hear to approve the choice to force treatment, but then you have elderly folks with DNRs who are NOT FUCKING AROUND and ignoring those directives to me is pretty sickening, I’ve had grandparents who were ready to die, I’ve never been in my 70s with debilitating health problems, I don’t know what that’s like, but if an adult who’s reached a life expectancy age is ready to die, fuck you, let them die. And when someone like Steve Jobs that let’s a highly treatable cancer kill him because maybe he just needed to drink more wheat grass or some stupid shit, there’s nothing you can do but go ‘‘OK, well, we don’t have to make any follow up appointments now that you’re basically dead.’’ And move on.





  • He’s been medicated in the past. That being said, I know it’s a common belief that mental health medication and coping can make someone no longer creative, this is not based on real things. No one does what they want to do well while they are struggling with mental health problems. Medication doesn’t strip people of their skills and abilities. Every creative person will struggle with ‘‘writers block’’ ‘‘art block’’ whatever you want to call it. There’s real ways to get past it, and everyone deals with internal and external pressure in creative fields, like Pete Doctor talking about having a huge crisis of faith in his own work to the point he was sure Pixar was soon to fire him when he’s easily more original and productive than any other major name writer/director/animator they’ve had. Everyone goes through this. But when you real look at a ‘‘troubled artists’’ you see the mental health problems got in the way of them being creative not the other way around. Van Gogh was MONTHS away from being a world renowned artist when he committed suicide. Why did he do it? Well I can’t say exactly, but he was a man who spend years in mental hospitals, and couldn’t paint while in there, maybe he could somewhat, but not like he wanted to. He produced an average of one painting a day for two years straight when he was out of the hospital. He was out because his symptoms were under control and he was free to leave. Not because he was struggling with mental health. And when his symptom were getting worse again after the two years he painted clearly 10+ hours a day, he very likely didn’t want to go back to the hospital for who knows how many years? If being unhealthy made him an artistic genius all his famous work wouldn’t have come while he was out of the hospital having few symptoms, he wouldn’t have been painting when he was well, he would have gotten a job as a mailman or something. No healthy meant he could focus and work. Unhealthy meant he couldn’t.



  • The first hand account I personally heard was a man named Johnson, don’t recall his first name, but his son is named Eric and he was my high school history teacher, who also served as a green beret, the father was a medic, he was traveling with a British group of soldiers, he had to do triage at a camp, lost of details stuck out to me, the nazi staff threw grenades into the offices to destroy documentation, the train tracks had been blown out for days at least and there were carts full of human remains they were transporting to who knows where. When they were gathering all the survivors they found a man alive hung on a meat hook, and he said there were a single digit number of men who came up to them, did a nazi salute and explained they were in the camp mistakenly and wear always good obedient nazis. He focused a lot on a man carrying around his brother, he did triage and told the man his brother was only hanging on by a thread, his eyes were already dry was his main concern and he marked him as ‘‘aid last’’ basically, he likely wouldn’t survive under any circumstances. Then decades later he was commuting to work in SF where he lived, and stopped to by a paper got the train, and after he spoke a man he didn’t recognize stopped him and asked if he remembered the man carrying around his brother, and he did, the man was the brother who was carried, he somehow managed to survive and recognized his voice after all those years. They stayed in contact for the rest of their lives. And lastly a student asked him what the most shocking thing he witnesses, and he said the most shocking thing that he really still didn’t understand is that the people who survived the camps and walked out weren’t destroyed, even so soon after liberation they had the capacity for joy, love, and lived their lives. I’ve talked to two men who were American soldiers and witnesses the camps in that context, and believe me, just being there for a day or two was a burden they could hardly carry, it was a living nightmare. But people survived. Anyway, That’s all I remember about it, I haven’t been able to find anything on my own to point to, but that’s enough to at least connect the story to a person I know he talked about it publicly at some point.







  • I’m 40, and I’m really only attracted to people my age, maybe late 30s, but much younger than that and I’m really not into it. This has been pretty consistent my whole life, of course I had crushes in school, but after being a teen probably around 22+ I Really wasn’t interested in teens. But 30 I was not interested in 20s. If I had to find someone, which I’m really not anticipating, I wouldn’t bother dating someone younger than 35-38 through whatever 45-50 range.