Lately I’ve been enjoying a half Mountain Dew half Baja Blast mix when I go to Taco Bell.

I thought they took those chips off the market.

No

I learned about 9/11 because it happened when I was in high school.

I hated Donald Trump long before he became president.

I’m not a nerd. Nerds are smart.

Bort

Ah, so it was the streets of Utica.

I thought that was from the streets of Albany?

The rest of the day is going to stink regardless.

Mind your ps and qs. What are ps and qs?

That happened to me this morning. Lousy bladder.

Lana! He remembers me!

Ocelot

Had a substitute teacher once who thought that the word Hell was a bad word even when referring to the location.

A lot of OTC meds that are in boxes have annoying packaging where you have to peel off the little paper before you can push the pill through the wrapping. The paper doesn’t always like to peel off properly and it makes it harder to get the pill out of the packaging.

They’re not gay, but they’ll learn.

If I sleep wrong I wake up in pain.

https://www.wikihow.com/Teach-Somebody-How-to-Drive

That seems very likely actually.

Jeb! would never do that.