Since I was eleven, every five or so years, something happens where I get really upset or stressed, and during those four times so far, I end up seeing this made-up thing. The thing I see is a mythical creature, and it is not supposed to be kind, in fact it is meant to be evil, but when I hallucinated it, it was incredibly gentle, and I honestly felt so comforted. It always felt completely real, like an actual person was standing there. The first time it happened was right after I saw something about the creature in the news and a magazine, and I was feeling very lonely.
Each time, the hallucination happened in public (first time was at school) and I lost real time, once for half an hour a few years ago. They always looked a bit different, like a new individual of the species each time, and sometimes there were two of them which talked to me and also talked amongst themselves during the conversation. I have not had any other hallucinations and for months now I feel sad that this being is fictional because of what I experienced. I feel conflicted about that, since this creature is meant to be an evil one that hurts or even kills innocent people, not something that comforts people.
I keep finding myself looking at media (movies, shows, books, etc) that has this creature in it. In one way, I feel comforted, and in another, it makes me feel saddened. I actually feel like I’ve become addicted to looking things about this creature up. I’d say I spend about an hour each day looking into it. It scratches an itch on the brain. There are very few pieces of media where the creature is portrayed as good rather than evil.
Frankly, I’m torn on this one. I have a few fantasies that I like to pretend are real because I think they prevent me from falling off the edge into the chasm of complete insanity, while at the same time recognising that it’s not strictly sane to maintain the fantasy in the first place.
But this is something I consciously maintain. There are no elements completely beyond my control like visual hallucination.
The closest I get is the occasional flash of something I’ve been doing for a while if I close my eyes (basically the Tetris effect ), and maybe the occasional auditory equivalent if it goes quiet.
And yet, in my dreams I’ve had full blown conversations with people where I haven’t expected what they’re going to say next, so I suppose if all the above combined into one, I might have a similar experience to you, OP… but then I’d have to strongly considering contacting a medical or psychological professional.
Lapsing uncontrolled into a dream - however comforting that dream might be - when out in the world, could be dangerous for you or people around you. Imagine if you’re driving. Or controlling some other form of machinery. Or heck, even pushing a shopping cart.