Since I was eleven, every five or so years, something happens where I get really upset or stressed, and during those four times so far, I end up seeing this made-up thing. The thing I see is a mythical creature, and it is not supposed to be kind, in fact it is meant to be evil, but when I hallucinated it, it was incredibly gentle, and I honestly felt so comforted. It always felt completely real, like an actual person was standing there. The first time it happened was right after I saw something about the creature in the news and a magazine, and I was feeling very lonely.

Each time, the hallucination happened in public (first time was at school) and I lost real time, once for half an hour a few years ago. They always looked a bit different, like a new individual of the species each time, and sometimes there were two of them which talked to me and also talked amongst themselves during the conversation. I have not had any other hallucinations and for months now I feel sad that this being is fictional because of what I experienced. I feel conflicted about that, since this creature is meant to be an evil one that hurts or even kills innocent people, not something that comforts people.

I keep finding myself looking at media (movies, shows, books, etc) that has this creature in it. In one way, I feel comforted, and in another, it makes me feel saddened. I actually feel like I’ve become addicted to looking things about this creature up. I’d say I spend about an hour each day looking into it. It scratches an itch on the brain. There are very few pieces of media where the creature is portrayed as good rather than evil.

  • TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world
    132·
    7 hours ago

    No, it just means you still have some form of hope and imagination left. Hold onto it for as long as you can

  • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org
    4·
    7 hours ago

    I mean, I’m pretty upset that I won’t be able to see a living pentaceratops, seismosaurus, or T-Rex. So, no, I think it’s fine.

  • Darkcoffee@sh.itjust.works
    59·
    9 hours ago

    I’m not a therapist, nor do I have any expertise in any of this, but I would recommend seeing a professional, because imagining things is one thing, but actually feeling like they are real could be a sign of something more that you may want to look into.

    No blaming you for wanting companionship during tough and lonely times, but if it were me I would really question if it felt 100% real or if I knew it was imaginary.

  • atmorous@lemmy.world
    1·
    3 hours ago

    Read goodgoodgood.co articles studies about hope. One about 14 year study, and the other from June/July about how Hope is Fundamental to Life. Any other articles too. Then cultivate hope DAILY.

    Also, think about this, scientists are reviving the wholly mammoth in a way. In near future we will be able to revive other species, and then even make brand new ones. Think new kinds of dogs, new kinds of species for pets, new kinds of species to mount for transpirtation (Dragons for example with dog genes for friendliness and trainability). So it will be possible to make what you are seeing in near future

    Last thing learn to draw it digitally. Would love to see what you see. Post it online when completed. Paint/Draw pick your art medium

  • Dionysus@leminal.space
    61·
    8 hours ago

    Um, NTA?

    Not bad at all. I’m in my 50s and constantly disappointed there are none. The more I learned about actual reality as I grew up the more disappointed I became.

    That’s why books, comics, movies, games, even cartoons/anime are so popular.

    Don’t feel bad, keep looking for the magic.

  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
    8·
    9 hours ago

    Mythical or not, how creatures or people are portrayed in media often has very little to do with how they actually are. Or especially how one acts towards an individual, such as you. As long as it’s not leading you into doing something dangerous, or withdrawing from reality, your version/interpretation is just as valid as the stories someone else dreamed up.