I was in a talking stage with a woman and she said she had feelings for me but did not want to do any romantic stuff and realized because of her trauma, she was not ready for a relationship. So, I wonder, is it because trauma can interfere with relationships or is it a matter of not actually liking someone romantically if you don’t want to be romantic with them. Everyone presents trauma differently, so for me, I wanna be super romantic with people. I’m not trying to be an ass, I’m trying to understand.
Yes, absolutely. Both are possible. Different peoplwith different experiences and tendencies operate differently.
Also, there are lots of different types of love. https://www.ftd.com/blog/types-of-love
[sip asexualitea]
You can love someone romantically without wanting to share your life with them, or progress the relationship beyond casual.
You can love someone sexually but not romantically, or vice versa. And sure, you can have romantic feelings for someone and not trust your feelings because of previous experience.
Anything you can imagine, someone can feel.
I would just take her at her word. And tell her what you want, without asking her for anything. If she is not open to the kind of relationship you want, does it matter what she is feeling? I think not.
Are you conflating romantic stuff with physical stuff here? You can feel romantically attracted to someone without feeling sexually attracted to them.
That being said, she could also just not be comfortable with physical touch because of her trauma (as she told you). That is absolutely a common way for trauma to present itself.
Thank you, that makes sense. I don’t understand romantic feelings without wanting to kiss someone because I have very little understanding of that stuff.
Did you ask her what exactly “feelings” she has? Some feelings are not compatible with romantic stuff.
Romantic feelings, she said she was attracted to me
It doesn’t make much sense: She has “Romantic feelings”, but “not want to do any romantic stuff”. I think it is some misunderstanding or terminology misuse.
It’s not contradictory. Feelings and actions are not the same thing.
Maybe I really like ice cream (feeling), but it don’t actually want to eat it (action) because I’m worries about something unrelated, like my weight.
Talking stage? Lol
