Hey I’m sorry for the mental breakdown. I’m probably going to delete all of that soon.
I am just really not doing well and not catching a break.
No one’s expecting you to do well. Looking in, everything about your current state of mind seems normal. You’ve been hit with a bunch of major negative life impacts and are experiencing the trauma of that.
so many hugs
you are allowed to be human 😘😘😘🫂🫂🫂
We are here for you <3
Don’t be sorry. You are going through a really tough time. It’s ok to let sadness happen. (And all the other emotions too, grief is complicated) It’s ok to eat a stack of chocolate or whatever suits your diet that will ease to pain. The only thing that heals grief is time. You did the absolute best for her. It was just her time, and you cared for her so well.
I’m rooting for you, buddy!
Been unable to sleep and have been washing all the laundry and blankets. Gathering Melbcat’s meds and belongings into her carrier to more easily clean but I’ll be leaving her litterboxes, beds and bowls where they are. I don’t want to look at the empty spaces.
spoiler
I’m hoping to get the black cat back to an owner if possible or at least some clarity on next steps to take. I looked fruitlessly on Facebook (without an account) for black cats missing in my area, made a dedicated email to put on a paper collar, then made a quick Found poster with his picture. After that who knows.
I guess I’m just numbing out and focusing on the things I can fix because I have no idea how to even process this. I miss my baby girl.
🫂
You might feel like you don’t know how to process what has happened, but what you are doing is processing it. Busy work is a way to distract your conscious mind and give your subconscious the room to process - your conscious thoughts might grab all the attention, but it is the subconscious that does all the real heavy lifting.
The grief of loss is extremely painful to go through, but Melbcat loved you and was loved in return. Death cannot take that away, and moving from present to past does not diminish it. The time you had together and the relationship you had will always be there, you are just viewing it from a different angle.
All this ❤️
I wish I knew something to say to make it better. All I know is that it will get better over time
Wise steps with the black cat and I understand leaving the beds etc in place. Take time. We had an old dog cremated, and he lived on the coffee table in his tin for over a year until we had a spot to bury him because I couldn’t stand the thought of him being alone in a cupboard. Big hugs
Whoops. Third date guy and I kissed. Made out even. I feel like a teenager again. Yikes 😊
this is so cute and cool 🥰
( also, we can never be too old to feel like a teenager 🙂 )
I love this for you!
Thanks, I’m still being cautious though and trying not let my guard down too much. We are going to a cat cafe together next week!
Right. I’m bringing out the big guns.
I’m going to wash my sheets.
Surely this will spite the rain gods.
Edit: in other news, tried this nicotine spray today and I’ve barely touched the vape all day. I found my exit.
that’s great about the vape, those are not good
I’ve had a blocked ear all week, and so I could hear myself breathe quite loudly.
That was the catalyst lol
There’s this witches market in Ferntree Gully today. I managed to get out of having to drive an hour to a market to buy rocks by checking the website and seeing they’re doing a similar thing closer to us in two weeks time
Alright rain. Enough with the blue balls.
There was just a bit of pre-cum🤣🤣🤣🤣
🫣
The sheets did it.
Edit:
Who’s your celebrity crush?
Mine is Lana Del Rey. Her voice gives me chills.
Thankyou for your sacrifice. My garden appreciates the rain.
thank you (●‘◡’●)
Richard Dean Anderson. I don’t care how old he is, that man could get it from me.
Can’t go wrong with a man who can defuse a bomb with chewing gum!
I don’t know that I have a celeb crush
mr seagoon perhaps …lol
I don’t know if it’s the same for other male singers, but female singers are the bees knees lol
mr seagoon has a lovely singing voice 🥰
I had an event in St Kilda tonight, on Fitzroy St, and won’t be heading back there anytime soon. Been a long time since I’ve been in that area. It’s soul-less, don’t see the appeal other than it’s a street near a mid beach. Wasn’t St Kilda happening once upon a time? Not anymore.
It’s nicer during the day but it’s always been sketchy, at least since the 80s. I’ve never known Fitzroy St to not be mostly a shithole and have only gone there for Prince Bandroom shows. These days the Espy is just another rip off pub. Getting some take away and a six pack from Ackland St to share on the beach around dusk would be my premium St Kilda experience.
used to be the place to get European cakes and pastries
80s & 90s it was great but there’s so many more modern cake places now those old shops on Ackland lost their popularity years ago. I had my first borscht at Sherezade many years ago.
meth
St kilda is a scum hole if you peek behind the curtain.
But it has its charms.
Given the relative decline of letter writing and the relative increase in government funded bowel screening, the overall proportion of poo in our mailing system is probably at an all time high.
This thought brought to you by an old fart… who thought they had a few more years but was told by the doctor it’s now available at 45 …me…the old fart is me.
farts won’t do, you need something with a bit more substance
I think it’s available at 45 but they don’t send it unsolicited until 50? I just did my ‘welcome to 50!’ bowel screening, and the nice thing about having that out of the way is that I no longer have to go to the toilet thinking ‘poo! I should save that for science!’
Many years ago I started making porridge mix and putting it into individual serving containers so I could take it to work. Then I decided that microwaving porridge was too messy so only make it at home now. But I’ve continued putting it in individual containers, and it’s only just occured to me now that it would be much easier to make it in a big container and measure it as needed 🤦♀️
So, once the three containers I have now are used up I’m changing to a big container instead, which will reduce my porridge hassle factor considerably.
There’s an old Scottish tradition of pouring a batch of porridge in a drawer then slicing off a piece as required, sometimes to be fried.
I have not heard of this. I might try it one day. The draw is probably one of those tin lined draws in a bread makers cabinet
I do porridge everyday, I just make it in the breakfast bowl in the microwave, but I make very plain porridge, I have with brown sugar and a little milk
it’s very easy
maybe if I can get some citrus and make some marmalade I can have toast again
I slept like shit
How does tempura manage to be so simple and still be so yummy?
I made a chicken casserole for the freezer and the chicken pieces shrunk a lot more than expected. So I ended up with less serves than I was expecting and a lot of excess gravy. I’ve frozen the gravy seperately, it should work well as a gravy to pour over a pan-fried piece of chicken, so I guess it wasn’t too disapointing.
day 4 with no antihistamines
I am going crazy here , mosquito bites, hay fever and food allergies
Hot flushes on top of a sticky night and a high humidity. Fuck.
My bed fan was on all night, it helps to reduce the stickiness a bit.
I had the ceiling fan and the pedestal fan on high as well as the window open.
I have evaporative cooling, so on warm nights I generally leave the fan on and have the window open to keep the air moving through. The bed fan is nice because it blows air under the covers (which is a very light cotton doona - I can’t sleep uncovered) and it has a remote control, so if I wake up too warm I can turn it on/up without moving. It also helps to remove moisture from the bed so it doesn’t feel quite so sticky.
Hmm. I may have to look into this.
