Brainwashed people do be like “Yes master” without fail.

That can’t be true. Licking a stamp can’t be much different than licking a boot.

I think it’s more likely that they’re illiterate. Mailing a letter requires you to write the destination address. Something they can’t figure out.

Get a box. A bunch of boxes. Walk to the first thing you see. Pick it up. Ask yourself two questions.

1. Have I used this in the past 5 years?

2. Will I use it in the next 5 years?

If you answered no, put it in the box.

Now repeat. Over and over and over. With every single item in the house.

When you’re done, take the boxes to goodwill.

Now do this same process every 5 years. And when you’re buying a new thing, ask yourself: "Do I really want this thing in my house, and add to the next roundup?

You may find you buy less things, just because your cleanup every 5 years takes too long.

This is what people don’t get about the world around them. Everybody likes to point at laugh at WWE and say “THAT SHIT IS SOOOOOO FAKE!!!” as if it’s audience is unaware.

I like to point at the government and say WWE is more real than the fake shit called “politics”. The difference is, most people think politics is real.

Just like how people in the early 2000s people thought Paris Hilton was a dumb blond bimbo. She went to HARVARD!!! But she played a character of a dumb blonde bimbo on tv. So now people think it’s real.

Humans are dumb.

Unclear if you’re holding a midget hostage, or are a parent. In either case, the drugs are problematic. Although for entirely different reasons depending on the answer.

I have a better assistant for my home. It’s called me.

When I get home from work, I don’t rely on some app to open my door. I use my hands, and unlock the door with my keys.

When I want to know how much juice is left in the fridge, I walk my ass to the fridge and check myself.

When I want to set the house on fire to committ insurance fraud, I walk down to the gas station, fill my cannister myself, and come back home and pour it everywhere myself. No app needed!

People are SO dependant on technology these days! Jeez!

Step one, put it in my hand.

Step two, take this $3.50 in all pennies. Those are valuable. They fon’t even make those pennies anymore, and thats 350 of them! All for you! Honestly, you’re making out on this deal.

Step three, …

as heard in the distance

…sucker!!!

ties a string to your string, and a can at the other end

Now we’re having a three way!

…is this like how the BIG MAC is actually an accurate representation of inflation? Is the NBA draft an accurate representation of decades?

There’s way more DIY going on in the 2020s I feel.

Yeah, because nobody can afford to have quality craftsmanship these last 3 decades. So now people are like “FINE! I’LL DO IT MYSELF!”

The 20s this century suck!

the Mona Lisa, a 522-year-old painting of an Italian woman

Damn. I remember when that was brand new, and everyone was talking about it. In modern times, I believe the kids today would call it a “sick meme”.

We didn’t use such words back then. We called it “art”.

Now you got all these yolkels hosting what they call “renaissance fairs”, but they completely missed the point of them. It wasn’t a festival. It was just a typical tuesday at the market! I like going to these renaissance fairs for the nostolgia, but they don’t actually sell usefull goods or services. Instead they set up a “gift shop”. Ugh. I just want to buy a decapitated head of a lamb, and a rack of ribs. Why do I have to go to your air conditioned big box grocery stores to do it? I want to buy it off the wooden cart of a traveling salesmen like it was INTENDED GOD DAMMIT!

turns into a bat and flys away

How much could I buy a pizza from you for?

I feel like this comment is so generic it’s not even AI. Just a bot randomly posting pretyped comments.

What if I have no arms or legs?

No no no. First you do the walk like an egyptian dance. Then flash your hazzards. Then play peekaboo.

Mantis starts beating off with a purple dildo

Me: “…the fuck is he doing?”

Instructions unclear. Ended up doing the wave (like you see at baseball stadiums) alone in a car.

I’d watch that.

Well I have Obama’s Bluesky. I’ll send him a message.