Which model toughbook?

Hmmmm. Maybe I can run for judge in Seattle as a novelty.

“VOTE FOR ME! I’LL MAKE THE JUDGEMENTS WEIRD!!!”

Like internet controlled testicle shockers for people who litter. That’d be a fun one! Vote for me!

Back in 2019 I replied to a wrestler on twitter. She posted a funny video. I said “Oh man! That killed me!”

I got banned from twitter for inciting threats of violence", because thats how the AI interpreted my post.

It doesn’t matter if you rape children. So does the president. That’s “their people”. They’re not going to punish for that.

But if you say something the AI deems as threatening to them, even if it’s not, you’re on a list.

Mostly the wealthy ones.

I want a tv show about this. It’s a woman in her 40s, and her husband died. She’s never worked a day in her life, so she’s applying to find a job. And every episode she finds a new job, and also gets fired from that job because she’s not good at it.

And then, on the final episode, instead of a happy ending where she finds peace, she’s been mentally insane this entire time. The majority of the series takes place in an insane asylum where she’s imagining what her life would be like in various jobs.

It’s ok. You can say it. You’re 60+ years old, and you have some VHS home recordings you made in the 80s with a bunch of women you lured back to your basement dungeon, and then fed them m&ms until they agreed to have sex with you.

And now you have like 400 VHS tapes that are a hassle to watch.

But also, you don’t want the guy at CVS to know you have a tattoo of big bird on your left butt cheek.

Kinda strange it’s in the shapebof a cross…and on Easter no less!

When my mom left my dad, there was a day my mom was picking me up. This was the late 80s/early 90s. She was wearing a sweatshirt from the clothing brand “BUM”. For those of you who are younger, you might be able to find pictures of your grandparents wearing clothing with the word “BUM” written in a basic font across their chest. This was for a very short time, a very popular brand that nobody questioned why it was called “BUM”.

So, my mom is wearing that sweatshirt. My mom has recently left my dad, and my dad is in a very negative head space where he just wants to belittle and insult my mom any way that he can. Shocking she’d ever leave him, I know. But his comment was "Oh yeah? You wearing that BUM sweatshirt? You know what BUM means? Black Urban Male! Your sweatshirt makes you a black man!

My dad was/is a pretty racist person. There’s a reason he has no friends, and his only child (me) doesn’t even really talk to him. He’s all alone now. Let that be a lesson to everybody. Don’t be a racist. Nobody likes racists.

To be fair…letters can be toilet paper. Especially bills.

I’m American. My grandpa was American. After my grandma died, he remarried a British woman.

One time when I was 7, she asked if I wanted pudding with dinner. As a kid I said YES!!! I didn’t even ask what flavor. Chocolate. Vanilla. Tapioca. Banana. Fuck it. I don’t care. You offered pudding, and a fat kids answer is always yes. No further questions needed.

Well, we have this meal with meat and gravy, and potatos, and a biscuit. It was all very good.

But then dinner was over.

And I’m waiting.

Everyone is leaving the table. They’re acting like the meal is over.

Haaaaaaaaang on.

“Um…excuse me…is the pudding ready?”

“Oh. You want another pudding? I think we have some more.”

“…more?”

And then she hands me a teacup plate with another biscuit.

“I mean…ok. I’ll eat this too, but where is the pudding?”

“Dear, this IS your pudding!”

long silence as I realize there is no pudding

“This is why everyone besides papa doesn’t like you.”

42 now. I stand by what I said. You don’t tease a fat kid with sweets, and then give glorified bread.

In general I liked her. I was the only one who did.

In that moment though??? She was dead to me.

The

Bart

The

YOUR GENITALIA!!!

That’s TERRIBLE advice! Gay people can be gay and thats petfectly healthy!

But being happy? In THIS world??? Theres something not right about that…

…for you to poop on?

Actually, no. He’d probably get off on that.

Nazi?

I feel like it would be a win/win for someone to stalk you.

You get the attention, and the stalker gets soneone to take notice of from the bushes, without someone calling the police on them.

I didn’t know how to read or write when I was born, but I adapted! I’m sure it would be fiiiiiiine!

Now, where should we build this cancer research facility? Oh, how about inbetween the marlborrow plant, and the burning tire yard? Fits perfectly!

And you don’t HAVE to keep a navy afloat. They’re on boats! They float on their own! Duh!!!

Pop star living in a mansion in Bel-Air? You can just say “Will Smith”

If I’m reading your message correctly, you should format that thought process better.

“I don’t care about cops. Firefighters, and the others, yes, I care about them.”

At least that’s how I’m reading your statement, but it’s not how it innitially reads.

Ublock, filter out the term “linux” and “trump” on lemmy.

…huh, look at that. Lemmy has 6 posts total. Thats 2 more than yesterday! The fediverse is growing!