Write down on a bit of paper “I want to spend more time with my son, I can always find another job”, then flip it over and write “I’m going to spend my time on work, I can always have another kid” and see how you feel.

I was on similar threads on Reddit where 90% of the replies were: “do it! do it! who gives a fuck! do it!”, and here the replies seem to be 90% “actually we care about what happens to you, so let’s weigh the pros and cons”. I guess it says a lot about the difference between both communities. 😉

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that just because you are spreading your resume around you have to leave eventually. Actively pursue other opportunities while still giving your current job all the attention it warrants.

I last started looking for a job because I had an asshole manager, but didn’t find anything worth leaving over, so I stayed. That guy eventually failed upwards, out of my management chain. But I eventually got hooked up with my current job based on that search. I wouldn’t say it’s a dream job, but it’s definitely better.

Don’t quit unless you have a new job first. I had a friend quit first and he’s still looking over 8 months later.

It’s a tough market at the moment, so it’s never a bad time to start looking, but I wouldn’t quit until I had something in hand

I think you should look into trying to move closer to where you work. If that’s not possible then look for a different job, set it up first, then go ahead with quitting this one.

Don’t quit your dream job. You have 4 days per week at home and a job you love. That is a dream to a lot of people.

If your employer would not want to lose you, think about what would make it work better for you and then talk to your manager. More days WFH, or shorter hours on days you’re in the office, or a big fat relocation package, or whatever works for you.

If they can’t/won’t help, don’t quit until you have another job lined up. Make sure they know it’s why you’re leaving.

Tough one. But here’s how I would decide.

3 days a week of not being able to see your kid is a big price to pay. You can do it if it is meaningfully taking you somewhere. To the next level. Something. But can you keep doing this forever? I couldn’t. I’d only be able to do it for a finite period because it would move the needle on our lives somehow.

Can you use your home office days to look for other work that’s closer to home or is wfh? A commute like that is incomprehensible to me. I’m lucky enough that I have never worked more than 20 minutes from my house, and I don’t even apply to jobs that are further away. I understand not everyone can do that she to their industry and costs of living in certain areas, but 3 hours a day of commute is brutal.

In my mind, if you’re missing out on time with your family, especially your child, it’s a no brainier. But, because you have a family to support, you should find a new job before you quit this one. A job you like and quality time at home is better than your dream job and missing all the milestones of growing up.

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Would moving closer to your workplace be an option? You said the pay is good and you like working there.

You could save up to 3 hours every non-homeoffice work day.

Can you bump the morning start for a late start, and just finish later? Would it reduce the commute time by being off peak? Having mornings with your son is not bad.

If there’s no business reason to have you in the office (other than bums on seats, which is a terrible business reason), maybe ask if there’s any way you can do four WFH a week? But definitely start looking for a new job, and remember, it’s easier to get a job if you already have a job.

Potato. People think just because they’re used to make French friends, they’re unhealthy. Just don’t deep fry them and they’re perfectly fine.