• StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zone
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    2 days ago

    Apartment below me is doing renos blegh. So loud when it echoes up the alleyway oof. Also hear the weeping of one of th residents next door (assisted living building), I hope she is okay.

    tw abuse

    I spent yesterday with my Dad. He travelled all the way from the East to me, braving the replacement busses. We had a delicious lunch at a local cafe and I updated him on how I’m going. I finally told him what my mum said to me, that has coloured all my experiences since I was 14. And he said it was unforgivable. We commiserated about how we were victims of her abuse, and he said that it’s okay if people don’t understand because he understands.

    It was cathartic, exactly what the small scared child in me needed.

    I messaged my cousin (mums niece) on Facebook , and told her I what Pop did to me. She can do what she wants with that information, as she is a mum to two kids. I don’t expect anything from her or to believe me, but I felt I needed to say something (something I wish someone had done for me).

    I’m feeling scared, but more confident that I can be okay and eventually even happy.

    • Eagle@aussie.zone
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      2 days ago

      It can be so hard to be honest about things like that, we get trapped in the idea that it happened because there is something wrong with us and we allow our abusers to control how we think and feel about ourselves. People who genuinely love us will always understand, and there is nothing wrong with us, only what was done to us. ❤️

      • StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zone
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        2 days ago

        It absolutely gave me a complex about my worth as a human. But hearing dad’s side, and his experiences, it helped so much to hear him say he did want me and he has no regrets about me coming into being. I am wanted and loved. It’ll take time to incorporate that into my brain properly.

        Thank you for your kind words and care 💜💜💜 this community has helped so much

    • Bottom_racer@aussie.zone
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      2 days ago

      I think the other day you were talking about catching up w/ your dad more. So glad that happened and he understands :)