cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/49262051
Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack “exploded all over him” and he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform.
Neither side disputes that Sean Dunn, 37, did in fact lob obscenities and a deli-style sandwich at officers deployed by President Donald Trump to patrol the nation’s capital in August. But Mr Dunn’s lawyer argues it was not a criminal act.
The incident was captured on video and went viral, making Mr Dunn a symbol of opposition in Washington DC to Trump.
Government prosecutors initially tried to secure felony charges against Mr Dunn, but a grand jury declined to indict him. Prosecutors have instead charged him with a lower-level misdemeanour assault.
So send the protester the agent’s dry cleaning bill and be done with it. Make them pay for a new uniform if the stain can’t be removed. Simple enough. The fact this is a criminal matter is absurd.
Those uniforms are polyester and probably treated with enough teflon/stain block to keep a sharpie from being permanent.
I’ve worn similar hard uniforms (different color, same supplier, probably. There’s only like 3.) and mustard doesn’t take, even if you’re a dolt who lets it set in.
All that to say; there’s no need for him to do more than run it through a normal wash.
Will he ever recover
I understand Electroconvulsive Therapy is great for this sort of physical and emotional trauma.
Follow up report:
It’s not clear. Doctors say it’s hard to get these mustard stains out of the fabric with a regular wash cycle.
Exploded… And the grievous injury of…smelling like mustard and onions for a bit. Man, they are really trying to work that incident.
The video clearly showed an intact, wrapped sandwich on the ground after the incident. Nothing “exploded.” The cop lied on the stand (surprise, surprise), and he got called out on it by the defense.
I’m just going to quit calling them any kind of law enforcement term. They are all just domestic terrorists at this point.
Always have been
I used to believe there were some decent people in law enforcement. I don’t feel like that anymore.
Correct.
I’m certainly glad the feds gave up on optics. This should hopefully make for an excellent dark comedy movie once it wraps up (if Sean is aquitted).
I think it would make a good blackbox theater production with the interesting caveat that any theater putting it on has to give tickets out to people for free who agree to have a baguette lightly thrown at them.
Or, hide the bread under a random seat every showing and at the pivotal moment have everyone check under their seat. Whoever has it gets to throw it at the cop.
But if I attend, am I allowed to grab the baguette and eat it?
One of the iron laws of theater is that once a piece of bread touches you as an audience member, you own the bread.
Oh the humanity!
crazed antifa leftist armed with explosive ordnance !!
Update: court adjourned for today with no verdict. Jury deliberations will resume tomorrow.
Man who signed up to a job to humiliate his fellow man, was himself humiliated. Demands justice.
Tit
big strong cop brought down by a sandwich. He would have really been hurt if someone had thrown a hard roll at him.
Clearly the agent has post-traumatic sandwich disorder, and it’s affecting his memory of the incident
Were there any survivors?!
EXPLODED? How many casualties?? Someone think of the overgrown children cosplaying as cops 😪
I’d have expected a few charges related to making a mustard agent on the street corner as well.
what are the charges, throwing a succulent sandwich meal?
It was a truculent sandwich meal!
I’m totally hearing this in Zoidberg’s voice
Succulent? I thought it was subway…
deleted by creator
its funny how these guys like to advertise like they are kickass then act like the biggest pussies.
The party of family values and fiscal responsibility using any excuse to weaponize the law
“Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack “exploded all over him” and he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform.”
Are we ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN this is not The Onion? Hard to say based on the smell.
