• imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone
    8·
    6 hours ago

    This was the first week in like a month I wasn’t still at the desk at midnight at least once. Celebrating with some wine and culinary class masters on Netflix. Feel like I can actually relax finally for a bit

  • melbaboutown@aussie.zone
    3·
    5 hours ago

    First real wrangling of the beast… I got him to come over for food then scooped him into my crouched lap and dripped the pill crushed with water into his mouth the same way I used to with Melbcat.

    No hissing or scratching but his squirming and fighting was frantic. Feel bad that I restrained him until he’d had it all before I let him go. He ran away and looked back a couple of times while I was apologetically calling but disappeared into the night utterly disgusted with me. I hope it hasn’t lost the trust I built up. I’m meant to do this every day 😔

    But what am I supposed to do? Can’t let him be a scabby boy. No fosters want a ringworm cat because it would spread to their other healthy ones, and to have a separate ringworm section I’d have to surrender him to a no kill shelter. I can’t see him doing well there even if they accepted him.

    I’m so shitty I returned Melbcat’s unused meds because one of them was a very effective anti-anxiety medication. It could really have helped me with this. I might have to try him on Zylkene to see if it helps him adjust to all this.

    spoiler

    I also called Griefline earlier because I’m missing my baby girl so much. This new crisis is overshadowing her but her loss is seeping through. In the quiet times I have I’m remembering her and holding her urn and really going through it. I wish I had the opportunity to slow down and deal with things.

    • Taleya@aussie.zoneEnglish
      4·
      5 hours ago

      That’s the worst part for me. The falling into the holes in your life where they’re supposed to be. hugs

      Don’t try and have a timeline. Grief sets its own meter

      • melbaboutown@aussie.zone
        3·
        5 hours ago

        Thanks, I might get that when he’s finished the pills - that’s if it lets me without a script. It says one a day for 2 weeks but I was only given 8 so it might have to be every second day. (And from what I’ve seen it’s usually a couple times a week?)

        spoiler

        It brings me some comfort. It kind of feels sometimes like she’s still with me. And she hasn’t been forgotten about.

        • imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone
          5·
          5 hours ago
          Title

          Can see both sides. Is there some way to make it a ritual? At a time of day sit/hug her? Like morning and night, hug and talk to her, then move. I am not saying move on or that you restrict your feelings but I find it helps to ritualise grief, by allowing it it’s space you can feel all the feelings and also live? Sorry not being articulate.

          (For reference triggered to cry my eyes out over someone who’s been gone for a decade today. So I get it. Any way through is ok. )

  • StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zoneEnglish
    9·
    8 hours ago

    Thank you for the birthday wishes! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :3

    Mickey has been treated like the Monarch he is, he is now sleeping in his Pondering Orb (I think).

    Apropos of nothing, but Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band slaps 🎉

    Edit:

    the pondering continues

    Oh, also I have a free birthday drink waiting for me at Inner North Brewery. I shall be attending tomorrow, if anyone would like to come along :) I should be there around 3:30-4pm :)

  • LowExperience2368@aussie.zone
    6·
    9 hours ago
    ruminating

    Unfortunately, I struggle a lot with getting things done. Even just eating three meals a day and exercising. Apparently it’s AuDHD but who knows. The psychiatrist is too expensive so I will be waiting until I get time off uni to work more and save up.

    It is time to believe in myself a bit more. I was considering starting guitar from scratch because I have an all-or-nothing mindset and my teacher gave me this great idea of doing “practise sprints”, short, timed bursts of practise. So now I am also doing tidy sprints, and uni work sprints. I haven’t picked up the guitar this week because I’m too scared 👀 but I have done more piano than I did last week. I think that counts for something.

    I keep telling myself that I can’t do uni or teaching because I am incapable and it’s not for me. I see my classmates doing really well and think that because I get overwhelmed so easily and have less life experience, I will fail. Again, that is very all-or-nothing. I haven’t given anything a good go in my life, always quitting before persisting. I guess I’ll do an experiment on myself and see if I feel better about things when I give them a good go, or if I actually don’t want my life to head in this direction.

    All I know is that I am sick of not achieving things and I need a sense of mastery in my life.

    • Seagoon_@aussie.zone
      3·
      8 hours ago

      you have finished lots of things, you did your uni degrees 👍 So you can finish things

      everything else is not a continuation of this but are new tasks , often requiring new skills and different personal attributes

      also, change is not failure 👍

      you can do this 😊

  • StudSpud The Starchy@aussie.zoneEnglish
    15·
    15 hours ago

    My sleep in was interrupted by my anti-sads regulating my circadian rhythm, sigh. But it’s my birthday so a wake and bake is in order methinks yolo

    I was actually born on a Friday, so it’s very satisfying when my birthday falls on it again - activates some small reward centre in my brain.

    obligatory cat tax

  • tombruzzo@aussie.zone
    7·
    14 hours ago

    Girlfriend took me to Farm Vigano yesterday for my birthday. Good food and a great location, but the highlight of going there is getting to see Am A Bell Crabb again:

    Am A Bell Crabb

  • Seagoon_@aussie.zone
    4·
    12 hours ago

    think I’ll put a warm jumper and hat on and go to the beach after lunch 😊just for a short walk

    • CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone
      5·
      15 hours ago

      Never mind it happens. My man is on BP pills for life and he’s fit. Sometimes it’s lifestyle. Sometimes it’s genetic. Sometimes it’s both. You can dm me if you wanna talk.

      • MeanElevator@aussie.zoneEnglish
        4·
        12 hours ago

        I’ve been on BP pills for years now. It’s 100% genetic. It was high when I was unfit and barely improved after losing weight and getting fitter.

        I could have 3 coffees and have normal BP, and some days, it’s high because it wants to be.

        • CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone
          3·
          12 hours ago

          Wow. My husband lost about 20 kgs. Went from the highest dosage to now the lowest. He was having frequent migraines and now has none.

          • MeanElevator@aussie.zoneEnglish
            3·
            11 hours ago

            I’ve never actually had any symptoms apart from the BP itself. I’m on a low dose and it’s working well.

            To be fair, my BP was on the low end of ‘high’.

            Interestingly my mum has low blood pressure and takes meds for it.